SELL OUT, Who Me!

I love fain mail and every so often I get people sending my little notes of appreciation and then I got this one. I thought about it, and had really never considered my self as a sell out. I mean I could have a bullshit job where I work for someone else and clock in and clock out and am fully dependent on the wage I am given in a job I hate and for people I don't like. Trapped under the rules of bullshit to just make ends meet. I recently made a tweet that I had been hired by Red Wolf Vodka to rebrand the company and it's very own product. I am very stoked about this,

ONly this year I was hired by Nissan to launch the Cube automobile in the uk, and I was paid very, very well for it. Not to mention a few other gigs where I was paid for my artwork to use for a company that was not my own. So to read this I never really thought about it, till I had a discussion with some friends whom run Lucha VaVoom and All Tomorrow's Parties over dinner. Here is the little shit nugget I received.

From: ****************** <***********@gmail.com>
To: Henry Hate
Subject: Fucking Sell Out

I can't believe you fucking sell out, why the need to fucking do that crap. You're soulless.
I used to think you were fucking cool, but your just a major tosser know. Your putting your head on a plate. I will never be using your services. You cunt.

Granted sometimes I have a reputation for not always playing well with others. Granted. Yet I din't respond to his email, as I know this asshole will read it here so I chose to share my point with the rest of you too. I am never and not considered myself a sell out,as opposed to the person whom does. To me it's not about the money, and that is never an issue. Yes the money helps in a lot of ways but the fact that a company considers you to help them along, they are not only paying for my artwork, they are paying for my name. I've busted my ass at times for seven day work weeks to get to where I wanted to be. I didn't become a artist to simply hide my paintings in a fucking basement.
I make my own rules and I work at my own pace provided that I have enough time to do it in the frame allowed without any compromise.

To think that at 42 I would be bitching about a bad job i was locked into for means of survival is something I hope never to do. In the 42 years of life I followed a direction that i chose to travel, and yes, the accolade of someone saying can you do this for me , cause I love what you do is pleasure enough. I cloth myself, feed myself, and pay my bills all on the fact that I use my imagination and hands to do my work. Yes, their's a criteria I must follow myself in order to be a success and it's called discipline. So for some fucking butt plug to call me a sell out is a fucking joke. Especially when this shit head poses as an "artist" in a printing job for some bullshit firm making company brochures. Hey buddy your money is paid through the man, what's your fucking name worth?

I like nice things and I intended to be a success from the start when I was working for Durk Dehner at the Tom Of Finland foundation. For anyone whom seriously thinks it's Punk Rock to just simply fucking flip the finger at anything just because it supposed to be anti establishment. I have news for them, You're really not making any difference other than bitching in the corner and resenting me for where you want to be. So yeah. fuck it I will say it, I want to get paid for what I do and I want to get paid well. You will get my passion and my determination in the project. Although I sign a contract it is always negotiated and I get what I want within reason, and that's all I am asking for.

I am also happy that my ablilty affords me to do the things I like to do, and it is ALL ME! So to that little fucker who's called me a sell out. Eat Shit And DIe Moron. I can't stand when a fucking band says I don't want to be a success, and I don't want my music to be used for corporate gigs. Well, what the fuck you going to do since your "fans" refuse to buy your music and just steal it by illegal download. You hate the road and your label wont finance your tour, and you would eventually like to buy a home. Congratulations your still on the outside with nothing to show for your fucking art.
This makes no sense to me.

I am a 42 year old man not some 19 year old angsty asshole trapped in a 36 year olds body. Do you have any idea how pathetic and juvenile that makes you look? You can sit in a fucking pub and bitch and moan all you want. You'll be nothing more than a fucking drunk wishing for the chance at an opportunity. So there you have it folks, my stance. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go run MY OWN BUSINESS, and that feels fucking GOOD!

FAT FOOD NATION!

I say it all the time that corporations want stupid people for customers. P.T. Barnum was a success for stating that a sucker was born every minute. Well, The display on show here is evidence of that. Now I a happy to say that I DO NOT EAT AT MCDONALD'S. Haven't in a whopping 14 years. But I raised the question to my partner once that eating right is not only important, but in this day and age costly. I understand that places like KFC and McDonald's is trying to brand themselves as healthy cafe style eateries. I have noticed this when I pass them on the high streets. Still I don't bite. I believe that there is a certain customer whom looks at this food as cuisine, and that person has a slightly diminished veiw and handle on things.

Take the subject of Supersize Me by Morgan Spurlock, where he brought up the subject of heavy users whom eat here on a weekly if not daily basis. I believe that this crap will not only clog your arteries but clog your mind. I mean looking at this footage most of them look porksy, pudgy, and down right bloated. As I know for most on a fixed income it's hard to eat quality foods such as organic or even free range as the cost to sustain farming is evident in the price of food. But what ever is in the secret sauce is seriously making these bitches flip their wig. I mean this shit seriously can't be good for your mental health. When I was a teenager I found myself working at a Carl's Jnr.
In Newport Beach. I lasted 2 days after I though fuck this place, so I quit.

I think it;s sad that companies really pigeon hole people and they become a subclass. Let me explain. Twenty years ago if people were seeing this actually happen in a McDonald's, they would simply call the police. Watching this footage people were simply filming it, which illustrates that they become immune to this type of behaviour. This is normal to them and all though it is entertaining for the short span the after effect is a bit scary. I mean I don;t need to walk into the zone of a fart to know I am not going to like the smell. Yet these people here show no sort of composure to simply walk away and leave it alone. Here what you have is animals plain and simple. I do not condone the violence against women, yet these broads simply lash out at men twice the size with the same aggression of a man. So I do believe that these woman got their just desert.

Finally when the police showed up, those involved ran like cowards. Fucking punks and completely juvenile whom show that this behaviour was simply in vein and really nothing of any importance and simply reek chaos. So this would only solidify why I will not eat at a Mcdonald's ever again. For fear that I may get my ass kicked for no reason by some heefer whom didn't like the tone of my voice or simply cause they felt I stared at them inappropriately.

Happy Halloweenie Meanie!

My Current Mood

Let's Just say after a lovely dinner loast night with my friends and my lovely partner Bren I got a pep in my step.

Does "IT" Get Better?

This has been a strange week, ok month, Not all bad, what with the President's approval rating plummeting and still no difference in the promise of change, the high profile number of recent teen suicides of gay teenagers in the news. It's made people question things. Yet to make matters worse budgets are getting cut France is in revolt, (and I say good on them) and still more people will loose their jobs. So this brings me to where I am now to aks the million dollar/pound question. Does "It" get better? It was horrible to hear the stories of Tyler Clamentti, Seth Walsh and others whom sought a way out way to early om their still unformed lives. I have seen the coutless people to say, ""Hey look at me I am fat, famous and fabulous (not really), and it gets better" or sing some bullshit song that is gayer than a pink suede christmas tree singing the words to True Colors. Yet, I didn't subscribe to this hoo ha when in fact it sounds great, but in reality it is a different story altogether.
If I am honest being an adult sometimes sucks major ass. But I am here to tell if only one gay kid seeking an answer. Hey If Life gives you lemons, Make some lemonade and sell that bitch bacx to the mother fucker at a profit and make it sweet as fuck and rememebr to serve it with a smile.

Does it get better in my opinion? Honestly, sometimes yes it gets better. Yet you will then be faced with a whole set of different troubles. Me I was made fun of in school sometimes, bullied by two jocks whom always made a point to say shit, spit at me and find new and silly ways for me to be the butt of their ridicule. I secretely had a crush on one of them and this guy was the nastiest of the two. I didn't dress like the popular kids and I did what I wanted against what others in high school thought. I had friends but I wasn't exactly popular to the degree of the cheerleader/jock crowds. Still there were days where I hated wlking down the halls of Saddleback High School, in only to come face to face with these assholes. Long story short, I had enough. I never retaliated, never said a word and just walked on by kept my head up, wiped the spit off and dusted my self off and carried on. Years later I was in the shopping mall with my brother when we came across guy bully one. He bloated to a whopping fat walrus whom actually waddled with a equally obese wife and they were surrounded buy 3 bouys and twin girls. All under the age of 6 and 7 years had passed, I remembered John Beaumont and his crap, but I never forgot. His wife knew my brother and I stood silent as she talked to him and this lard ass wrangled with his brrod of kids. He saw me ad kept his head down. I wasn't rich nor was I directly on the career path I wanted but I saw I ghost of a kid whom used to thnk he was hot shit.
He knew it too, and it fucking made my day. I never said anything other than hello, as they said goodbye.

The Second bully whom was the worst was a guy named Brian, he was tall goodlooking and a cross breed between a punk and jock. The biggest asshole I had ever come across in 17 years. When I was 23 I livedin Silve Lake four doors down from a leather bar called Cuffs, it's gone now. Yet it was notoriously cruisey. and gys went for one reason only and it wasn;t the fucking beer.
I was confident in my body, my sense of self and whom I was becoming. When whom should walk in but Brian. No girlfriend in wife beater and jeans. Me I had already started to accumulate a number of tattoos and hod on my "Beef Is Best" baseball cap, it was my lucky cap. Low and behold as I played pinball in the corner. Brian crusied me, and yeah I wanted to always sleep with Brian and he made his oh we were kids obligitory apollogy with little effort and sincerity. Brian asked my back to his, as he was in town for the weekend and visiting family. Brian was in the Service and on leave, was a father of one and just come out of the closet three years before. all I could remember was just how vicious and cruel his spite was for me and with little or no reason. He took me to a hotel on Sunset where he was staying with his rented car. We smoked weed and fucked most of the night. I was beautiful man and not that great in bed. Actually, kinda shit. More of a three pump chump, and I spent an hour and a half trying to revives this guys boner after a few beers. Then I fucked him and it came back. He passed out and I got dressed and grabbed my leather jacket that just hapened to have a sharpie in the pocket. When I was 23 I had a leather choker that was a crucifix that turned into a mini pocket knife. I still have it today.

Well My horns immediately came to sprout. and I popped the tires of the fucking car cutting the palm o my hand doing so. Then proceeded to write the words "Faggot", "Bitch" "Cocksucker" and the big finnish "Pencil Dick" all over the car. In hindsight when I did it it was almost as I was that same kid in high school. I didn't feel like the me I knew. I fucking legged it for bloks up Sunset Blvd at 6am and jumped a buss back to my house. I never saw him again, but I fet fucking good, I felt better and I could put "It" to rest. I was now in the brain of Brian whom gave me hell and then I actually fucked. Revenge is better than Christmas. Do I regret defacing a insured car. NO, He had it coming and I will say that he raved about my cock sucking skills. So as long as I heard that and knew it, I will be in his psyche He will remeber that night and me calling him oout as the portraying shithead, closeted asshole he was.

In the long run most stuff seems hard now, but it becomes irrelevant. Your Friends will change and you will have your back up against a whole new set of problems. Different troubles and situations. Yes, it's hard but so fucking worth it. Although I am nammed Henry Hate, I do feel love and am glad with the way things truned out. A young kid should never feel alone and if any one whom reads this feels the need to talk, vent or just share. I promise this, I will listen and answer you back. That I promise.
You you are no different than that dork ass kid whom thinks he's cooler than you. The moron whom uses fear as a weapon to pin you under their thumb. The only difference is they identify your strength and that makes them uncomfortable. It's tought to accept yourself as your young cause you have frustration and hope, it is a scary time but a thrilling one. So hang in there and seek help:
www.suicide.org
The Trevor Project
www.youth-suicide.com
www.papyrus-uk.org
www.itgetsbetterproject.com
This is for you all, and know that I love you.
Henry Hate

Songs of the Moment!

Karen Elson
The Ghost Walks- I love this as it is in the same vein as Tom Waits "Blood Money", Nick Cave's "Murder Ballads". baroque country Check it out!

Shellac
Steady As She Goes- I love this fucking band and I am a sucker for a mean bass riff to a pounding beat! And they rip, Can't wait to see them come New Years with Sonic Youth. Bring It!

Aimee Mann
Save Me- A mantra of mine at the moment, from myself, from the paper tigers in my head. Just a lovely song.

Ministry
So What- Takes me back to my days in Hollywood and the rush of feeling young and reckless.

FCKH8!

I know that some people crave that certain words only belong to small segregated group of people and the meaning is then supposed to have a serious weight behind it, because the said group claim ownership of said word. Fuck that, I used to piss off my former assistant when ever I said the word "NIGGER". My partner points out that although I know the difference between a black person, and a negro skinned person, I do not equate them as "Niggers". No to me a nigger is nothing more than a parasite whose looking for a free ride and a social parasite whom would rather use your own resources, than build their actual own. Someone who's just a user and very ignorant in their approach. Basically a dumb ass, but to me nigger does not equal black or ghetto.

So the word marriage is up in a heap of controversy, when I think that the word is nothing more than a word. The context of marriage to me is over used, because If I were to think of the catholic church verifying this as a sacred institution. Coming from a bunch of kid fuckers whom try and cock block my relationship as with those whom are extreme right, I would pass. Yet I am happy that me and my partner are legally acknowledged as legal partners and if I dare type it "married" we made the vow for better or worse". I still don't care what another person thinks about my union, cause it's none of their business. And if she, wanna be a freak and sell it on the weekend, it ain't none of your business. If we get passed the nuts and bolts it's pretty much the same damn thing no matter how you break it down in the mechanics of the actual machine. So get over it and kick some shit up

Parle Vue Francais!

Banking On The Simpson's

Banksy has been given the honour to direct the opening sequence of the couch gag for the Simpsons, and all though I have always thought that some of the were genious, this kind of pokes fun of the very network whom air they show. Did I like it, absolutely, yet I thought it was just a little to grimm in some spots, but over all I give it a thumbs up. The ever present humour is there and the satorical nature of Banksy is present, yet I was surprised that it was given a go by the network. What you think.

Sorrento Sole Mio!

Capri

This was worth the Five Euro i gave this guy. Priceless.
On route to the top of Capri, I loved this photo..




Our Driver and Licensed bodyguard, Mother fucker drove fast! Oh yeah he actually showed me his badge, hot!



The local talent, Although I can't run around sucking up locale Colour, I still look at the menu, Ice Ice Baby!










Me Leaving a bath house for the very first time ever and not having my dick sucked. As If!




In Pompei


In Pompei


Travelling is something I love doing, howevere I am not a fan of the actuall process of travel its self. Getting up at god awful hours to get to the airport only to be asked silly questions that are purely based on ignorance and paranoia. What is the point of asking me at 4:00 am, "did I pack my suitcase myself." "Oh no, I let some poor bastard from the middle east do it for me, if you please." Going to Sorrento i will say was fucking lovely, and it rocked. I can never understand when people travel somewhere and don't engage in the people and the culture. I mean why travel to italy and only order a hamburger, as to what some silly american did at a cafe. How rude. i was faced with different Americans whom complained about trivial stuff which I found was odd. They acted as if the world was really flat. Swimming in warm mediterranean sea water and being with my one and only sans the pooch, was a lifetime high. The food was AMAZING and will have a new respect for pizza and suaces as I tried to bribe the guy at our local whose wife made ass kicking pizza. It was her momma's recipe and she would rather die than give to a tattooed american. Touche, I can respect that. i immersed myself into the food art and tried to speak, at least order in itallian, but it was my ability to know spanish that helped me converse with the people. whom over all I liked. I will say this be prepared to seriously spend coin on FOOD, 12 euro for 2 eggs, I was seriously thinking a Niggah Pah-lease was in order when the bill came and my ass wasn't even in Capri. Italians will squeeze you like an olive, grape and lemon for every last euro you got. Yet i paid with a smile. except for the eggs.