Saturday, 15 May 2010

Open a Can Of Whoop Ass!

Classic! Note to self: Razorbaldes in a wig for back up.

Friday, 14 May 2010


Should you ever open your mouth, say it with action
Should you ever loose something, find it and make amends
Do not take lightly your position
Do not make the exception to your rules
The rules are not your own
The floor from under us is ever changing
Quicksand, Concrete, Mud
Where is that you stand?
Sweat, Tears, Blood!

Should you ever find your self lost
Ask yourself where
Should you have a conversation
Ask yourself why
Do not look for guidance when your actions are second guessed
Do not lay out parameters when the goal post isn't your own
Your floor is ever changing
Where is it you would like to stand
Winner's Circle, Church Chior Bandstand

My answer is this:

"Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others.”



Wednesday, 12 May 2010

My Current Mood this Morning

Cause I haven't slapped a bitch in two weeks, cause I got a whole lot a strength in a bitch slap arm. Word

I was recently going through LAX terminal and my jewellery set off the alarm to which the station guard questioned what was making her paddle wheee. So I pulled up my t-shirt to expose my 5mil nipple barbells. To which she exclaimed, " Oh hell no! Boy, are you crazy? You best roll out and get on with your painful self."

Tattoo You!

As summer is near and this damn cold weather in London still persists, I will be keeping busy with my hairbrained schemes and cock-a-mamie ideas. First up, I will be present manning a booth at London Bear Pride with the thanks to Mark Ames and the guys at XXL Saturday Evening May 29th. Although I don't consider myself a bear I do have loads of bear clients whom have been cool enough to let me work on them. My assistant Benji will probably be doing the social circuit whie I am chained to my tattoo machines. So to show my supprt I will be selling t-shirts, art and of course tattoos. Swing by and say hello or come get a tattoo bear or otherwise. If you would like to get a tattoo at the event please email me at with a summary of what you would like to have done.

After that I will be manning another booth at this years Skin Deep Tattoo Jam in Beautiful Doncaster
England. Me and the guys will be loading a van and heading up north to talk shop and of course tattoo, if you get a chance to go swing by the booth and say hello or just come and get tattooed. I am taking appointments for this show and am available. Some of the best artists in the world will be tattooing here, over the three day event through August 6th-8th with Artist Friday kicking off the show. So if you can get in touch with your idea for the show and contact me. See you then.

Tuesday, 11 May 2010

My assistant Ben, (yes you Benji Jean Marie Babette Chalmers) is always busting my balls about my clothes. Sure I poke fun of his shoes. But I had a rule, If I don't like the shoe, I won't sleep with you!
Yet he says I have a style, which makes me thinks I believe he thinks I get dressed in the dark or a six year old with Special Needs chooses what I wear. Still I wont wear my good clothes to work, as I pay to much for those to be ruined by the dreaded tattoo ink. But here I will always bow at the church of Dame Vivienne Westwood. Her son made my outfit when I got hitched to Bren, it was her tartan that he knicked from his mother's Design Studio in Battersea that made my dandy waistcoat. Side bar, I had Bren's tooth in my pocket during the cermony If you get a chance to check out Barnsley and Joe's shop A Child Of The Jago.
It's just around the corner from my shop, the have some great stuff in there.

While there you might want to purchase this little T wich proceeds will got to Humanade!

Exiled From Wisteria Lane

You would think that at the ever approaching age of 42 I would be made of teflon and let things slide, but somethings can slip off me easy enough. On the other hand not so much. I had a phone call with a friend whom is battling an addiction, and has been left without any kind of support or friendship. Although I have known him both sober and drunk, it hasn't veered my opinion of him. Because I know him in a true sense I know he is battling something much deeper than that Vodka monkey on his back. It's really hard when dealing with this, as I can offer my support and friendship but I do proceed with caution. He hasn't reached his floor yet, and I'm not talking about falling down after one to many. Scott has to find that out for himself what ever that is.

I care for the guy a great deal and hope he finds it without to many broken bones. But, you know the saying. Can't make an omelette without breaking some eggs. So both of us are on the outs, and exiled. I chose to exile myself voluntarily from a person I just felt kinda manipulated the group of guys. I crossed a line with another friend which just absolutely changed my opinion of him. I mean I tried to let it roll and stay out of it. Yet the victim told me in confidence that it had happened more than once when they were both high and saying that I didn't want it to go any further. Sitting there with my friend over drinks I was shocked. And I am rarely shocked especially with my antic. But I had to think to my self and say, what kinda fucked up Desperate Housewives Wisteria Lane bullshit is this. I was angry cause they acted above themselves and got away with it.
Oddly I think my friend, the victim is suffering from fucking Stockholm Syndrome. I don't get it.

So the group is no more, the party over and I am a few friends less, I thought I wasn't angry but I actually am. They discarded another friend simply because he is battling a demon that at the root if it is something that only he can fix himself. He's still a person, who cares if he's an alcoholic, doesn't mean he's not worthy of friendship and support. Scott will find Scott when he is ready. As for the other two, I dunno It's a shame that time has passed and is now irreversable, done and dusted. It's a little sad that when your opinion of someone shifts that for some reason I just couldn't get passed it. I never said anything about it, and they knew I had known. We all make mistakes sure, but more than anything I think there are things you just do not do to friends. Seeing Scotty a broken man is hard to take but I will lend him my ear if he needs it. After all he is still the dippy goon from Glasgow I have come to know and love. Of all the friends I miss at the moment, I miss Cha cha. Yet I just don't see things getting back on track for the group of guys.

So I keep myself busy with work and getting my career in forward motion. Make knew friends and do other things than to hang out in a club. Although, I could use with a refresher course on people skills cause mine Suuuuck! Things are ok for me but I know a planetary shift is coming and we will all have to see what happens. Fuck I sound like a hippie.

If Scott ever does decide to read this, I just want him to know this. I love you Scott and all though I never say it I have shown it, and glad your here on this planet, even if you are bruised and battered. Keep your head up and get well.

Monday, 10 May 2010


French Comic Artist Logan does some pretty cool comics. Covering everything from Superheroes, Police men, Demons, and chubby Guys, to my assistants favourite type of men, Bears. (Yes Ben, I am looking at you) I like that most of his work does incorperate tattoos in them. That said, the tattoos are actually pretty good. I think the dude should draw some flash! Some comic artists draw some fucking shit tattoos on their subjects, but Logan has it down pat. I am not sure he has a tattoo, Yet I have been known to two a few of his men on my clients. Which is always fun to do and take my time in doing them as I want to get the exact essence of the artwork to make the same impact. God, I feel like Banky from Chasing Amy. I got your tracer hanging with snacks underneath.

Great Cat Fights In Cinematic History

Well, at least in my history. I don't like to think of myself as an aggressive person. Yet I do love to watch a fight, especially girl fights. Let's face it, men love it when women get straight down to the get down. So today at Henry Hate Headquarters we are having a beat down today with hoochie strippers (ahh bless) and female assasins (god love em). I think it is true that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. So I bring you two of my favorite scenes from The Players Club and Kill Bill Vol. II. The last fight I had I was accused of physical assault and battery, when the motherfucker came looking for me, of all places at my business. Let's just say I won't have any more problems from that dick head and his bullshit drug fueled ratarded antics anymore. Enjoy!

Sunday, 9 May 2010

Sexually Inappropriate With Straight Males!

I like hanging out with my straight male friends. Some of my closest friends are straight men. I prefere hanging out with thtem cause they don;t give me have the shit my gay male friends do. Yet first off, I do not want to fuck them, sleep with them nor do I even remotely fancy them. Don't get me wrong they're handsome and all and got it going on, but I just don't see them in that way. However I did have a friend named Tony whom used to beg his straight friends to let him suck thier dicks. How crass, how sad, and fucking pathetic. Beg! Are you kidding me, that's one thing I would never do is beg a fucking guy to suck his dick. I would simply get them drunk and or high to wear down their resistence. Short, sweet and simple, easy but to beg. As fucking if. At least we can blames the drugs or alcohol. Anyways, Facebook has a page of stright guys acting all kinds of crazy with ofther dudes. I know some guys think about taking a wak on the wild side, but this was kind of funny that these dudes play it up which was cool with me. I give you, I'm sexually inappropriate with my friends, but I'm actually not gay. I had to kiss my straight flatmate Martin on a dare, french kiss for a whole minute with tongue in front of our friends. I'll just say his wife is a very lucky lady!

Being A GIrl!

I have been going through my vast library of music and cd's and forgot that I had this album, I really should get a life organizer otherwise I am going to end up hoarding books and CD's and Flims. I love the band Mansun although the are no more, it reminds me of a time when I first arrived in London and everything was just s new and completely alien to me. This was a song I loved at the time and really like the video for it's irony, which made perfect sense. As most guys whom are comletely secure in their masculinity can make fun of the softer side of things. After all it does take balls to poke fun at your self and be brave. If you get a chance get the album Six or any of Mansun's stuff.

Thursday, 6 May 2010

Patrick Nagel

When I was a kid I loved and still to this day love the bold striking images that Patrick Nagel created. They had a very distinct air about them. Emphasising the obvious and doing away with the slight subtleties that simply got in the way of the main image. Colourful and slick, to me they would make great pieces of art, much like art deco they made an impact in an all to short time.

Sexual Napalm!

Being a rent boy, escort, whore taxi fuck is never a luxurious life, nor an easy gig. I don't care if your stank ass is flown to Bora Bora for an all expenses paid holiday, it's fucking work. As stories start to bubble over about the newly discovered cock crazy Christian craving minister George Alan Rekers (wow say that 3 times fast), and his side piece whom is peddling more than just his ass to any sundry that will ply his bank account. A ho is as a ho does. Make that money don't let it make you! What I never under stand is why is it, that it is always the fucking typical right wing second cousin to the Westboro Baptist Church that has his dick caught in a sling. And with low grade rent. I mean come on, if you're a minister at least get hot rent not some pasty mong with Shaggy's hair and gimpy grin.

Well, I can imagine where some of that $87, 000 for his participation as a witness voicing his concerns against gay adoptions. Julio Lucien Renoso Villalobos Cisneros or what ever the hell is fuck wit hooker name is on claims that the minister likes rub downs in the nude while on a 10 day vacation in Europe. What I don;t get about these fucking idiots is that there are European escorts in Europe whom don't really know whom that son of a bitch is. I guess Stupidasswhorenextstore .com was down for maintenance. The paid piece is also the same age as the ministers son. Ewe! If I were a minister looking for some action, I surely wouldn't hire this,

I would hire this!

I mean Jesus, Mary and Joseph you're a minister for god's sakes is there no accounting for taste? Well, apparently not. After all if I am gonna pay for sex I don't want to roll with a hippity hop space hopper, I want a ride a fucking Pontiac GTO with four on the floor if you please. After all if I am going to go for a test drive I want to know how big the stick shift is, if you know what I mean. Yet to each his own and his son rubbing ass, I am just glad that these guys get found out. I mean there is no shame in saying you like sucking on a guys dick and meaning it. I mean you could put me on cable tv, wearing a fucking tutu in day glow yellow, watering a Chia pet, sucking a big dick to the rhythm of I'm Every Woman. But You know what I would be on TV sucking a BIG DICK with a smile on my face. Well as long as it's paid per veiw, I mean let's think of the children shall we. You know while we are on the subject of Fags. I actually don't think God really hates Fags, but I am pretty sure he detests Christian Ministers comb overs and Lesbians and thier god damn alleged gifted children. So I guess it is just a matter of time before Rhona Blabbit's and the rest of the taxi door whores come out and admit to polishing the Rev's pole for the love of Jesus, caus I am sure it wasn't Satan. He would never be that cruel. I would keep my mouth fucking shut, does no one have any respect for sluts nowadays? That would be like saying you fucked Perez Hilton and are proud about it!. Personally I would rather stick my dick into a bed of snails, than do either of those fuckers. Gross!

Wednesday, 5 May 2010


As Tomorrow is a big day and I get to vote in the general election here in England, I will be doing my part, So in honour of Cinco De Mayo. I will remember the day that the French got their ass's kicked by a bunch of Mexican's. In lieu of this big day of voting, I think it's important to stick it to the man via the Ballot. After all you have a voice and what good is it, if you don't use it.

Tuesday, 4 May 2010

Bar Hopping!

I love Drinking! When I was a wee nibble I loved it then too. Any libation really, water, soda, lemonade. When I was older I moved to booze. Vodka, Boones Farm, brandy, rum and all my favourite men, Johnny Walker, Jose Cuervo, Jim Bean, The Two Glen's, both Fiddich and Livitte and of course my main man Jack! Drinking takes stamina balls and a cast iron stomach. The other night I went out with a friend to have a few drinks, which crossed the line into virtual alcohol poisoning. Two wallets lost, a broken wrist and a minor mugging, and me looking like I got caught in the garbage disposal. I had no recollection of me even leaving the bar. The last I remember I was doing the bump with a cool chick from South London, innit!

I left my shame in the back of a cab many many years ago. I am not really a violent drunk,cuase I like to party! PARTY hardy, or as I did last Friday... Part-TAY! Oh ok, so I found my head in the toilet and I smelled like road kill, but I can tell you what I had a smile on my face till I woke up nude on my couch the next morning. There is something to be said about serious bar hopping. I am not a youngen any more where I can just pop some alka-seltzer and call in sick the next day and do it all over again. Why cause I woke up with Catholic guilt, and I am not even fucking religious. I felt dirty and shamefull like I drank a beer soaked ash tray for a double shot of tequilla. And once on a dare I did, gross! I once did a beer bong and was impressed that I could do it, thanks to me loosing my gag reflex. Yet a friend lost her diamond tooth going after me. Yeah fun is had but I have work to do and now I will only visit the dark side maybe once a year. By saying dark side I mean drink, DRINK, God Damn IT DRINK, to where I feel like I rolled in a gutter and lost my wig drunk. And that is now every blue moon. I retired my shot glass many years ago and partied enough for four life spans and hard enough to earn a fucking PHD in PAR-TAY!

I've made my piece now I am made to piece together myself and hopefully my drunken shame. Ironically I live in a plae where they fear Binge Drinking. Like some sort of VD that makes people
foam at the mouth at the nearest sight of a pint glass. Yet I do have a favourite sound. The sound of clinking ice cubes in empty highball glass, one I used to respond to when my friend wanted to go out bar hopping. I would hear the shake and a giggle, to which I would where reply where and when. I know these ads always made me laugh because I can look back on some nights and smile. I will be the first in line to admit that I have ended a night looking like these two fools on a number of occasions, but as I get older, luckily the nights get further and further apart. I still will answer the call just not as often as my liver needs a better vacation from time to time. A screw it, Bottoms UP and make it a hard double! I should have something to eat first.

Monday, 3 May 2010


Hear ye, hear ye. I am selling t-shirts to the masses at prick and as I only do them in limited runs they are sure to sell out and once they are gone they are gone forever. No reprints as some have asked for the Vince Ray T-shirt that was featured in his Art Book Vol. 1. Sorry folks but if you swing by the shop or contact me through email you can find out what sizes are available. I found some old dead stock in a box I completely forgot about and selling those off too. The last of the old tshirts Check em out! There are some prints coming and cards as well, but you'll just have to wait and see.

Song Of The Moment!

I have been a huge fan of The Oblivians and The Compulsive Gamblers and Reigning Sound and Jack Yarber. Still this songs bravado has always made me love them and their Memphis Rock and Roll. I was lucky enough to see them back in the heady days. So if you ever come across their music. Do buy it, you'll be glad you did.

Prom Date Fashion Rape!

It's that time of year where kids across America start to think of that one moment where they plan and manoeuvre in military action to have that all important prom date. Well, most kids if you exclude that dikey lesbian in Mississippi Constance McMillen. Dresses are picked, condoms bought, and sexual composure goes out the fucking door on prom night. I mean Constance should at least be felt up by a butch fem on the big night to cushion the blow of missing her beloved prom. They right of passage for any horny teen looking to beget the sun and air, if you know what I mean.

In certain corners of America there are future baby daddies and potential hoe cakes on the prowl for their prom night. This is where the fun really begins. You see folks this is no ordinary prom where the token bitch cunt from high school in pristine blond hair wins Prom Queen. No, this is down home fun Prom, fo sho! Fashion rape and material STD's are the de' rigour of the night here at these proms. Where the homespun Singer sewing machine is busted out and those hooch momma's in home economics make their dresses for the big event. The rules are simple, concise and easy. Break them and you can never show your face in good society ever ever again.

1.) Make that dress look as cheap a fucking possible. Why bother with fabric stores when the currents in some crack haven will do just as good.
2.) Show as much skin as possible. So what if you have a scabs, bullet holes or stab wounds, when your young big ballin, and buck shot callin, who cares. Just slather some glitter of them wounds and Viola! Instant hooch!
3.) When creating that perfect ensemble, accessorise. Buckles, Straps, Bedazzle that shit like the rent is due three months late. Then Compliment it with a clashing fabric and or garish colours.
4.) Feeling bloated, fat or just a little bit nine months pregnant? Not to worry simply embrace your inner short fat slut and let her shine! Let it all hang out!
5.) Who needs Bling when that was so last year. Flash them tattoos, Stretch marks and scars. Show them ghetto ho's that it's all about REALNESS!
6.) The best way to get your prom date in a matching outfit! Deny that mother fucker pussy! Bitch will dress like a trumped up gay christmas tree if he knows he's gonna knock them boots from here to tuesday!
7.) Finally! The piece de resistance, the hair, yes folks you're crowning glory. You don't need that tacky ass fucking rhinestone crown. Work that hair in Jerry Curls, corn rows, weaves and some mother fucking glitter. Hair piece that shit like India is going bald tomorrow. Guys, super fly that fucking barnet. Pimp curl says here me now a,d try not to stand next to any open flames.

Saturday, 1 May 2010


Since I am starting to do conventions and tattoo the world over, I am gearing up for Skin Deep's Tattoo Jam in Doncaster. So I will be heading up north and packing my wares into a van. I like the convention as it is pretty cool with seminars and shit I usually like to get at tattoo machines, and books, and talk shop with fellow shop wners from around the globe. Doing a tattoo convention always wipes me out physically cause I am always working. If you would like to get a tattoo let me know in advanced and i can book you a spot. Hope you can make it.

Animal Instinct Art

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Kelsey Brooks. Enjoy

Shoot Yourself!

I have always liked personal photos of women who've taken them themselves. A sort of embodiment and embracing thier sex appeal and identity. Gay guys don't approach phot's the same way as women do. Nope, gay guys place a fashion show of many outfits plunked on to a website in hopes of getting laid or showing off. The thing is some drip with pure egotism and vanity and look just stupid. I mean do I really need to see some dork ass on bike, in his construction builder boots, or posing behind a blank wall with a vacant stare trying to impose butchness. Bitch is so far in the closet that fucker is practically in Narnia. So I came across I Shot Myself and really liked the element of the photos, with elements of humour, sex and intimacy. The woman photograph themselves and allow you to be the voyeur.