Friday, 24 December 2010

Merry Christmas My Ass!

Give me give me cha cha hells! In the form of Engineer boots or adidas shell toe, converse all stars.

Wednesday, 15 December 2010

All I Want For Christmas!

Chistmas is that time of year where your supposed to be charitable and give from the heart and not really ask for things that you really don't need. As I pretty much have everything I want and need I have made three lists. Things that I could use that don't cost anything really that would make my life better (the Good Henry List). The things I would like and use of a material sense, The Greedy Henry List. Finally The Slutty Henry List or as I like to call it, Dream On Fucker never gonna happen list!
Still the only things that matter to me is the first list, cause I can buy myself the other stuff, well except for Tom Hardy and I am gonna need to rob a fucking bank for that shit! Ultimately I am looking forward to time off and relaxing with friends and family and maybe getting my drunks on.

The Good Henry List:

1.) Love and support from Bren And Joleene. The most important things in my life. Although I tend to be forgetful I am glad they are in my life, and feel complete. A laugh and some quality time with my number one and only. Play time with the pooch and belly rubs for the nibs.

2.) A better business year and hopefully some good press and for the shop to go from Strength to Strength.

3.) The Capacity to go easy on myself, as I am my own worst critic and really rake myself over the coals sometimes. I would like to stop beating myself up sometimes and cut my self some slack.

4.) More time off Cause I fucking need it.

5.) For the Tax man to get off my dick and fucking chill, he'll get his money eventually. I pay made fucking tax and it's seriously hard for a pimp.

6.) To loose an extra 15 pounds as my doctor said then I will be at my target weight.

7.) less stress and doubt.

8.) The ability to not loose my fucking Iphone as I am on my 7th one. Jesus H. Christ.

The Greedy Henry List:

1.) A ring to hold my wedding band in place as I have lost weight and the damn thing keeps slipping off, It's the most important thing on my person.

2.) John Waters hardback book "Role Models" Or The Last Living Slut By Roxana Shirazi in HARDBACK, well cause everything is better in HARD BACK! Jeez I sound nasty.

3.) a Navy Black Peacoat. Cause my closet would be complete with a bad ass navy black peacoat.

4.) A new Imac for the shop as my compute at the shop is on my lat fucking nerve and about to throw the bitch out the window.

5.) Converse All Stars and Vans in Red, Black, Grey and Blue. Some new Adidas shell toe's with some fat laces classic white leather upper and black stripes. Size 10

6.) a 65' 3d TV.. I swear i would never leave the house.

7.) This Comme Des Garcons tartain shirt.

8.) Walter Van Beirendonck Boiler Suit.

9.) Chippewa Engineer Boots 17' and 11' Also some O Ring Engineer Boost with steel toe. Black Size 10

10.) Jeans from Cinch on Newburgh Street London 34' Red Label

11.) Dickies traditional carpenter utility jeans.

12.) wife beaters white Large.

13.) A Guildman Shears T-shirt from A Child Of The Jago.

14.) A Bally And Williams Kiss Pinball Machine, cause deep down inside I am just a 12 year old boy who's ape shit over Kiss!

15.) A Silver Glitter Falcon Guitar, So Beautiful!

16.) Dr. Bronner's Pure Castile Soap All In One. being that I don't wear deoderant I use the shit out of this stuff prefer lavender and or tea tree The big bottle. as I bath Joleene in it to.

The Slutty Henry List: Yeah I know this is the list your really wanting to read.

1.) See Number One On the top of my List, More Sex with Bren, yet i am sure he thinks I could wear out a mechanical bull, I can't get enough of this guy. Yeah Baby!

2.) My Get Out a Jail... Tom Hardy and a dank dark alley for about 8 Hours.

3.) Christopher Meloni. See Number Two

4.) The National Australian, England, and Oh yes Irish Rugby Teams. YES ALL THREE TEAMS TOGETHER! Or maybe over a whole weekend. Poppa's got a brand new hoe bag.

5.) Lawrence Dallagio.. Phew, man

6.) Josh Homme. Fucking hot

7.) Add them all together and watch me make my O Face! Ice Ice Baby!

8.) A bigger dick and a million pounds cause If I had that I would get into all kinds of foolish craziness.

Seasons Beatings and a viscious new year guys, O' Ker!

Love H

Friday, 10 December 2010


Sometimes people make some bad choice and ask me if I can fix them, and I don't like always saying no, as it is a challnge for me and I try and see what I can do. Meet Becca, at the present we are working on her back and taking it slow and trying to get it right this time round, as she takes the train in from Machester to see me, and she's a lovely girl. Here are the results in stages so for and we are working on a back piece at the moment.

Monday, 6 December 2010

They Shoot Fish In Barrels Don't They?

I have been reading John Waters new book "Role Models", where Waters interviews people whom he felt fit in his mind the idea of a role model. I am reading the part of the book that includes Bobby Garcia and David Hurles whom have simply threw caution to the wind and do things that they felt were just intrinsically natural to them. Nothing wrong with that, but both men felt that this was part of their destiny to do the jobs of making a chronical of men that they were extremely attracted to. Snug as a flea in a dogs ass, they go about life putting themselves really out there of there own free will and not really giving a fuck what anyone else thinks. I recently read a small blurb about Treasure Island Media and the recent controversy by being fined by the state with three citations for not having a health & safety protocal in place for employee's on set, and the potential risk of supposed exposure.

When I worked for John T. Bone we had no practice and or protocal let alone a safety measure governed by the state. I remember we used to call the grunt "sppoge boy" his job was nothing more than pass the Bounty paper towel roll, mop up the femal squirters juice, spunk, hand the lube and or run and get the odd item and bring it to set. An easy gig for doing virtually fuck all at a $100.00 for the day and not doing dirty manual labour. John was quick witted and very knowledgeable of reading people,watching him was both entertaining and funny and other times, tedious, and down right hard, but never ever dull. Yet I endured cause I chose to deal with this person. To produce porn and I mean really make adult films you need a keen sense of empathy and the ability to know how to work with and read people. It's not entirly about finding two people and pointing a camera and hope it works.

Still it got me to thinking about the subject of role moadels and how they parley in my brain. I never gave it much thought as to whom I would be inspired by, but it always seemed to be the social misfit, the outcast and the sometime brutally honest who said , Fuck This, I am gonna do what I want. It's not so much a voice of a generation as just a real human element in us all, which some of us, are more prone to pushing that button than most. Do I think P.T. Barnum and Paul Morris are role models? Not sure cause i never gave it anythought. I liked the fact that David Hurles was drawn to a certain type of man, and often placed himself at risk and his safety because he was so drawn to these type of men, and made a life persuing it so. Face it the guy had balls. I can say that they fascinate me cause they achieved what they set out to do, made people think whether they wanted to or not.

I see a parallel between P.T, Barnum and the elusive Paul Morris, cause they have a mystique that only those close to them can get any true insight on. Yet they are shrouded in both mystery and have an uncanny knack for reading the human condition through body language and bahavioral patterns. Does this make them evil? No only more attuned to read people and what they are really thinking. P.T. Barnum claimed that there was a sucker born every minute, and he built a empire based on that claim. Paul Thomas, mind you his type a sucker is more of the physical act "sucker" rather than a dupe whom was looking for a snake oil claim. Still the truth that these two people present something that is present in all of us, a inquisitive and much darker side. P.T. Barnum would showcase an oddity/daredevil for show, Morris the primal sexual scope in raw form. Both entertain, it's the viewer whom is then and only then left to make up his/her own mind.

It's easy to weigh down Morris's production company with right wing flavoured sanctomony or crusaid tinted sentiment, but for what? It isn't enough that gay men have enough to contend with that in the throws of passion they succumb to what all men fall prey to inevitably, LUST! The magic potion that clouds minds and to some is far more dangeous than any drug sold over a counter or back alley. Reading these comments from pseudo middle class american bourgeois moralist point. To me if both
Barnum and Morris were not doing this, someone else would eventually. Yet what they clearly do is make you think. Some will view it simply as fantasy, others will look at the romantic aspect or freedom without any judgement or stigma. Clearly whatever
the reason it will always mark a response with those whom are so willing to poke judgement with their moral sticks.

Personally I am a fan of the films that Treasure Island produce, but I don't ponder the social and civil liberties taken by the preformers or wonder the exploitative viewpoints of the cast. Why, cause it's fucking PORN! Let's be honest I am here to watch Ben Kingsley in fucking Gandhi. When I worked in porn straight men and women were still at risk of being classified as possitive, and just cause the had a regular test still didn't mandate their safety as bullet proof. Some of the straight talent were far more active off screen in their private lives. Still that was and is their decision to do as they wish. I get shit from the council
with random paranoia in regards to a hypethetical situations that are so outlandish that are based solely on fear and misinformation, primarily cause I am a tattoo artist. So I try and keep a level head and address each issue with patience and knowledge.

To me what Paul Morris does is no different than that of the work of Nan Goldin, he allows us to be a voyuer and be intimate as her photos do the same. I find Tom Bianchi's far more offensive as the dude trolls muscle websiites looking for the next beauty to be photographed to therefore validate his fucking dinosaur loins. It would be a different story if he was just documenting other people, but there that son of a bitch is, dick in hand acting as if machismo was in his humble presence. It all seems so homogenized and well fucking stiff. I think Morris has presented gay men with a mirror, a sexual mirror that entices some and frightens others, as we all have the same feelings deep down inside us. Whether we choose to act on them is another issue. And those issues are not mine to cast fucking judgement on to another, to feel as if I have a duty. Years ago, a guy gave me shit in a bathouse cause I was with two guys in less than 30 minutes, and therefore decided I was a low grade subspecies than that asshole. My response was: Hey pal, your in a fucking bathouse. if you want to pass moral codes around pull that stick out of your ass and go to your fucking church, don't judge me
cause I chose to act on my shit and your still without. FUCK YOU!

It may be that a disgrunteled former employee has tried to stitch up Mr. Morris and co, but that is his business and his alone.
What i find funny is that bareback porn outsells regular porn. I think it's just that when it comes to sex people don;t want to be booged down with the financial, social and religious guidelines that are battery rammed down peoples throats on a daily basis.
You don't have to watch it and you most certainly don;t have to buy into it either. Because that is your choice. If you ask me, there seems to be a argument that is reminescent of the whole satanic black metal being dangerous and blaming bands for morons whom took to suicide or blasting the school faculty. It's not the band's fault for making a product that is supposedley for entertainment. You can't blame a band for a kid who's mental driveway doesn't connect to the house or a street. Nor is it Paul Morris's fault for the reason a sudden surge in the behavior patterns of other's. Most porn companies can hold a resentment against him because the one aspect that he has going for him over the others. Buying power. His product out sells the others , so if you want to take it out on anyone it should be the buying market. Outlawing it would only entice people as it becomes more taboo. People are simply drawn to taboo's once they have been stricken from the social codes.

Morris has created a cloud in a bell jar for others to watch and capturing that on film. No script, no premise other than fucking, and the primal state simply taking it's natural physical course. Barnum and Morris have achieved the greatest show on earth, because it makes others want to watch, or at least bitch about it. I have to say I do love going to the circus myself.

Friday, 3 December 2010

Marks And Stenclis Part Deux!

As well as traipsing around London in the Blistering cold We made our way to the Marks & Stencil Show and I entered the art contest with this little post card where artist Dran will pick the winning picture and give the winner a free print. What was nice was that even Joleene is a fan of art and she took especially to some of Dran's card board that he was intending to work on as part of the installation. We didn't purchase any art as I wasn;t bowled over by the current work on display but it is not to say that I didn;t like it. I just didn't see anything i wanted to buy, as we did discuss the possibility of buying Art Of Shiva as it was on display nextstore to Bren's shop on Portobello, but that was just a fleeting fantasy.

My entry was a boy drawing one of my chica fuck dolls with the caption, "all bad boys draw on walls". Wish me luck. The show is still on till the 22nd of December.

Blues Explosion

I always bow down to Jon Spencer Blues Explosion, I have been a fanatical fan for years from the very begining. I will admit I think Mr. Spencer is sex on a stick, in that evil Elvis kinda way and love his voice. Long before Jack White was claiming blues, the New York trio were banging out solid noise that had me bow down at the temple of their blues church. So last night me and my partner Bren braved the snow and left pooch at home to see one of my favorite bands. Thanks to Deborah and Barry for the guest list. I am forever endebted to you. Much love. The guys kicked out some favorites spanning their twenty uears and was the forst show in about six years. Loud as fuck and battling a few technical difficulties Spencer and co. did not dissapoint.

funny thing even my dog Prickle love the Blues Explosion as much that he ate four cd's making me buy Orange repeatedly. I am never sure if I really have a favorite song but I am partial to Orange and Plastic Fang. Jon Spencer is a true showman and thats one of the reasons I love them and well as minus the bass, they fucking rock. Yet, I will say The Blues Is Number #1!

Wednesday, 1 December 2010


I am suffering from a cold and insomnia so I am blogging at 3:00am. I can't fucking believe it. As i traipse around the wonderful web i check into LOL Tattoos from time to time and pray to god my shit never shows up there. But I like the site cause it's a reminder to not take my job so seriously and try and keep a level head and have a sense of humour. Is it bad that it's three AM and I could really go for a cold cold Mexican beer right now? Anyhoo, We get asked all kinds of silly stuff and although very good sometime the person just hasn't really thought it through. But I came across this and was pissed that some dick head tattooed a 13 year old kid.

Sometimes I think that the tattoo world has done lost it's fucking mind, yet this is maybe age speaking. I am glad that I never really got that many tattoos as a kid. Infact, I didn't have any. I could afford them, let alone think about what I wanted on my skin at that age. I remember at one point wanting to have the stupid ass demon dogs like in Dracula with Gary Oldman, I never did luckily. I think this is good detourant for a person whose considering getting some work done and really have a thought about it as well as "certain" people whom think they are tattoo artists themselves, relish in executing work that seems fucking kool at the time but actually isn't. Buyer beware! I say this because it may end up like this SHIT!

Whores At Christmas!

I thought this was a little treat for you guys.Enjoy. . I may just get drunk on Trampagne! Apple Cider cause thats what all the sluts are drink at the moment. Maybe make a cocktail of Champagne and Ripple, and I will call it Champipple.

Penis Envy!

I read other people's blogs from time to time to really get a handle on other peoples musings. Finding this site I came across the topic of phallocentric. Steady, I am just walking you through it. I am all for equal rights, and man and woman being a co-existing parallel of humanity and want to have hope for us all. But sometimes I think certain broads take this shit WAY TO SERIOUSLY! The other day I saw a group of lesbians, which when I see a gaggle of them I call them "Lesbi". Not Lesbians, I don't think it's mean they just look a sexual and androgeonous to me. There dress sense was something of what I take as a resemnblance to a gaggle of Christmas Elves. From the land of Baking cookies or making sex toys for horny lesbi the world over up in a tree some where. See below Exhibit A.

I am not lesbia-phobic, in my next life I hope to shink to their size and have child bearing hips, were courderoy, and have an over enthusiastic appreciation for power tools. (I already do) Yet What always gets me is the Wee-Man Bullshit. So this person personified the ANGRY LESBIAN. Hey sister the guy was an asshole who made a lewd joke to your said wife. Get over it. You should be so lucky the fucking dude thinks your wife is hot! However vulgar, it is irrelevant. She bangs on about guys touching their dicks and being fascinated with them and so on. I can recall a few girls on my street who's parents were told by the school, their very own daughters were willing to play with themselves at any giving point or had a slight problem of leaving their hem lines below thigh region. People are just to goddamn PC these days. Lesbians especially Wee-Man or whatever the hell they call themselves are some of the biggest penis envy loving mother fuckers in the world. And they are Mother fuckers in a sense of linguistic terms. I like my dick I like dick so much that I have the shit tattooed on me. But I am not going up and down the street screaming I like to suck cock and come & get it, free cock here. I fucking wish! Still there is a time and a place and if you don't fucking like it take your ass back to the Diana Island where Wonder Woman is from. I'm sure when all your cycles hit you'll all be oh so pleasant to be around. She claims that men use sex as weapon. Bitch, please. If anybody and I mean anybody everused sex as a weapon it is always going to be in the hands of a woman. Why cause men are stupidly whipped to the power of pussy, dick too for that matter. Jesus these broads hate men and there penis's so much that they spend a hell of a lot of time looking like men or trying to emulate a masculine tendency. Woman use there tits or ass as weapons, I got news for your, it works both ways. Woman are just as aggressive and far more manipulative than men ever will be. I say this because men have ego and a level of humble reasoning. Where as woman tend to harbour shit so much that it will keep the duey decimal system in operation for infinity.

I have sat around and listened to girls talk about there boy friends, even some of my male friends and the candour that woman divulge is far more intrusive and way nastier than a guy could ever fucking muster. Trust me. Sure a guy would brag and make shit up, but women use anything they can to leverage their side through any means possible if it meant getting ahead. It doesn't make them evil I fell it's intictive as a part of survival. Yes it suck that woman can do the same job and get paid far less then her male counterpart, but that shit needs to be taken up with a boss not men. Woman use their tits as a battery ram, or even tools for distraction especially those slutty ones. Lesbians whom are adro-phobic tend to be the most aggressive, alpha male chasing, piss contest taking, sore losers to ever walk the earth. They can't handle that an actual Male chromosome is swimming around in their gene pool. So in a sense a dick was involved on the creation of you, like it or not. Second point before you start fucking going off on guys and their dicks, perhaps you should rethink all those Phallic Sex Toys made for women. Why arn't there any fucking sextoys shaped like clits to mash up with? Cause to me all those vibrators, they all look like dicks, so you can candy colour them any fucking way you want it's still a penis. If you truly wanted to be a bigger man/person here you would admit to your self in a nut sack (pun intended) you have penis envy. Shit I do, I wish I had a bigger dick and a million pounds. Cause baby, I would be fucking DANGEROUS!

You sound more pissed that there is some fearful factor and resentment over some trivial comment. Let it go, it really doesn't matter what a fucking guy says as long as you benefit from the love you give your wife and your secure in your placement. As far as refering to the "boys club" woman do the same shit, Primarily LESBIANS and women bars. It's not enough to have a gay bar, oh no, we need FISH BARS. Tatar Sauce anyone? You know how fucking annoying certain lesbians look with their sex, gender Sylvia Plath reading, post fem, Lillith Fair holding ticket, cuntery is? Quite frankly when you behave that way you deserve to be called a bitch, cause your hitting below the belt. A womans rage will go for endurance, stamina, and longevity, yet they're maternal and pretty good at keeping the peace with in reason. Men are just different. Doesn't make your needs any different from mine. No matter how you slice this it is fucking irrelevant men and woman are the same, straight gay, or fucking trans gendered. I don't bitch about it, cause I don't fucking care. If you continue to walk down your one way street with your envy your going to wind up at a dead end road, so wake up, grow up, and for fuck sake get some balls. Your lucky you have a wife who's willing to share a life with you, and no matter what shit goes on your safe in her book. Penis or no penis, you should take comfort in simply knowing that. Now if you'll excuse me I need to attend to my man pussy!