Monday, 27 July 2009

Slightly Slutty Behavior

Growing up during the 70's I remember actually sitting through my first porn start to finnish(before I heard of Fast Forward on the remote) and it featured a woman called Vanessa Del Rio. Ms. Del Rio at the tender age of 14 decided that when she grew up she was going to be a whore, not just any whore but a big famous one. Vanessa Del Rio is to porn what Dolly Parton is to Country Music. She put the cunt in country. Taschen released 50 Years Of Slightly Slutty Behavior about 2 years ago and the book goes for a whopping £400.00 sheckle. Art editions go for a $1200 with numbered prints and a autograph from the Hall of Fame performer. one lucky winner will recieve a private date with Vanessa whose book contains the golden ticket. She is all chikka chikka boom, in all the right places, and one of the last vestiges of the golden era of porn, if you know what I mean. It's amazing that most gay guys don't watch more straight porn. I did, in fact I'm watching some now. For me she taught me everything I needed to know about blow jobs, well her and the guy down the street from me that worked at the supermarket. I used to go down to the dudes house and hang out in the garage with stolen beer and re-inact what I saw on him sans the hot chica accent. It's just I didn't have the luscious moobs that all men my age have now to play around with then. To me Vanessa is a pure sex Icon.. What I love most is that even know she is still as vampy, campy and most importantly trashy as ever. She's also collected a few tattoos along the way. She is a true maverick and spitfire... I bow at her bountiful chi chi's

Why Cesar Millan Needs Get His Ass Bitten... By A Dog!

I have watch a lot of TV, sometimes too much. And having a dog I tend to watch the standard Discovery programs and whatever else strikes my fancy and interest. But this Dog Whisperer... Here's why I think Cesar Millan needs to get bitten by a dog, preferably in the ass. My problem with this show is that he is always so chipper, up beat and relaxed and never see this dude loose his cool, especially when faced with some of the brain dead people, whom wonder why the hell their dogs act the way they do in the first place. I have made a list of why I feel Cesar Millan should be bitten by a dog right in the BUTTOCKS!

1.) I have never seen him whisper to a dog let alone talk to a dog. But his supposed clients on the show looked more dazed when informed that their beloved pet is not human, but... A DOG! Somebody alert the church elders.
2.) Homie's accent bugs the shit out of me. It reminds me or Ricardo Maltaban's from those bullshit 70's car commercials selling the El Cordoba, upholstered with rich Corithian Leather. What the fuck is Corinthian Leather anyway? Unless this fucker is selling these piece of shit cars off camera to the dim witted clients.
3.) Mr. Millan portrays that virtually anyone can just choke hold a dog into submission.. and the whole "pack" theorizing. He sounds like a fat Lesbian who henna's her hair with male phobic penis envy. A former illegal immigrant who's had no professional training or schooling in his chosen field, claims his tactics are purely instinctual.
4.) He looks like the guy whom deliberately used to fuck up my order at Burrito King all the fucking time.
5.) He has a preference for "power breeds", German Shepards, Pitt Bulls and Rotweillers, all perfectly capable of biting that bastard in the nalga's.
6.) Cesar looks about 3 foot 6, puting him next to say a Cocker Spaniel would make it look like an imposing crazy dog possessed by the devil. I really don't see him taking on any really vicious dogs, rather preferring to "rehabilitate" small toy dogs and suburban dogs with no real dangerous issues. Come on lets open the big bag of crazy!
7.) He's Mexican and doesn't say "Jes", I am Mexican and even I say it.
8.) Am I the only one who thinks this guy is totally a big Mary, or should I say Margarita.
9.) The pet owners are total fucking welps. The show makes it sound so easy to train a dog's behavioral problems in just a few hours... AS IF JORGE!
10.) The guy dresses like he works at Burrito King!

Shows like Miami Ink and Dog Whisperer make it look all to easy without the pitfalls and real story, or no story at all. I wanted a dog but the sign at Battersea's Dog Home said.. Beware.. Evil Satan Dog making said chosen dog, just not adoptable. So I know their are dogs whom have real issues and that to me would be more interesting than watching some dumb bitch dressed in head to cameltoe pink, wonder why her dog can't stop humping her.

Friday, 24 July 2009

Attack Of The Lycra Clad Dork

Zoiks, spider senses tingling and can some one check Michael Jackson's closet.. Just the thought of that dude bouncing around on that physio ball is the stuff of nightmares.

Ugh, excuse me are we a little tea pot? Maybe something a little more low cut and sexy!

This looks like what happens to a gay guy whom steels his 12 year old sisters gymnastics team uniform. Just add twirl baton, and call his mother. Bitch looks like he's od'd on team spirit.

Meet beyonce's costume designer.....

Blind Melon's Bumble Bee girl gine butch! Borrowed from Michael jacksons closet. Tranny Butch Bear and his trusted sidekick
Power Nerd!

With Sites like Hard Heroes and Super Hero Fights I am suprised like how many dudes buy into that stuff. Lycra has become a fetish that I always thought kinda attracts the UBER NERD much in keeping with the Super Dork. A room full of lycra clad men whom dress in, well Lycra, posing as heroes, athletes, and other nerds from parallel universes and other demensions. Looks to me like a room full of guys whom've know idea of how to talk to a guy without giving him his credit card number, let alone drop to their knees and suck a cock. Although I am with a guy whom would never admit he is a Trekkie, he isn't a nerd, nor dresses in lycra. This scene is of bafflement to me. Kinda like the saying, I used to be with it, but then they changed what it was. Now, I find it wierd and scary and just a little stupid.

Plot lines, Villians, Heroes, Caped Crusaders all good fetish fun to those into it. Well to me, "Dork Your mother called and she wants the car home by 9:00pm and don't forget a carton of cigs and some tampons too." Lonely dudes whom never really had sex with no one other than Catholic Priests or guys whom work in I.T. Just imagine sex in a basement was their mothers moth balls smell wafts in, as the soft purr of a humidifier works away in the corner. You would think that the man on man ratio would be pretty good, but I have a feeling that these dudes also bust out with the dungeons and dragons kits and speak in Ye Olde Tongue from Outer Nerd-go-lia. Scripted, and blocked for a certain ambiance. I always think yeah in fantasy perhaps, and my imaginations works pretty well. But in reality, no way. Dark alley, and lots of booze works for me! What can I say I am a cheap date,

Still there is the thought of having to conted with a room full of cameltoe. Jesus, that even hurt to type that. Still I think me drunk in a room of lycra clad men in costume would be a bad idea. Cause my mother used to say, "if you don't hav e anything nice to say sit next to Henry."

There Some Hoes(shhh Underaged) In This House!

Back In the days of yore, or maybe yesteryear I forget, I hung out at straight strip clubs. I did this becase I found them fun and played actually better music than the crap they played in Gay bars. I knew loads of strippers, and them girls were always a hoot to hang out with and chew the fat. I even had a friend whom confided in me that she was arrested for stripping while she was still in high school. Hand cuffed they hauled her ass to jail in her "working clothes" and paraded her out the club in front of her regulars and other club patrons. This at the time was a funny story to me and she laughed it off as part of her colorfull history.

So now there is a story of making the rounds of a 16 year old runaway working at a gentleman's club called Cheaters in Rhode Island. Rhode Island, it's neither a road nor an island. Due to a loop hole it is not illegal for a minor of 16 to 17 to shake her groove thing and wiggle them titties along a pole to Foghat. Well as long as she is in bed and homework done by a reasonable hour on a school night. Now when your dancing to say Edith Piaf your a exotic dancer. Say dancing to Slayer, Black Sabbath or Nine Inch Nails, well then your stripping. Now ok, I know what your thinking.. but these are young girls true, and yet it was not me whom wrote the law in the first place. Some crusty ol white man did... and now the town is all up in arms about it and want to change the law.

Some over wieght down home country school marm is claiming that these girls are subject to abuse. Please, the abuse of her learing husband. This is also according to some findings of a study by the University of Pennsylvania found that sats 60 to 80 percent of strippers have been victims of sexual assault. Still to me this sounds a bit vague and not that concrete on proof. Not to say it doesn't happen, sure. Still if a girl wants to shimmy to bunch of pervs and horny men, ultimately it's her choice. If I was a young girl, I would have been a stipper for a short spell. Had my soundtrack and Clear Lucite heels picked out.
Most people think that when stripping is just a gate way to prostitution. Not Really. Just the real slutty ones move on to hoeing it up big time. There was a girl Veronica whom was always fired from stip clubs for fucking the customers. which is a big no no. Other girls hated her , well cause she was a big slut and guys would always think it Veronica does it, so will Amber, Tiffany, Brittany, and Yolando. Why are strippers always named Amber? But I have to tell ya that bitch could wear out a mechanical bull. She was riden more times than the Circle line at rush hour, Truth be told she was a nympho, and once caught her viabrator and mirror in my flat... Crazy,,,, cause It was my vibrator.

The school marm is probably worried about her husband circulating with young girls at these clubs . Strippers are the western form of Giesha.. It doesn't ake a astro physicist to flash her tits to make a moron empty out his wallet. Yet it does take a people person and conversationalist to make a good working stripper. Pressing your jugs against the cat walk to Metallica is just not enough, she needs to be on the ball. She has to be aware of world issues, current events. cup a cock with her butt cheecks and keep the make up dewey and not look like someting caught in the drain after doing two numbers.Not an easy gig. But it's amazing that it's unlawful for a minor of 16 to drive without a chaperone, but she can rub uo and down a 60 year old for a 2 minute bump and grind at £20 a pop. To strip you have to have a harder surface than say a wall flower of a girl, but try and pull some shit with a stripper and your bound to end up with a hell in your eye socket.

Do I believe a girl of 16 should be stripping in a club? Answer is NO! I don't, but if she is going to she is going to, whatever her reason. Most peole whom complain and bitch about strip clubs have never really spent time in them and had any kind of fun for that matter. Icall these people Fun Sponges, they suck they funout of everything, Avoid like Swine Flu.
I do believe that stripping is a service that provides entertainment. But after a chick is married her tits belong to one man.. Before marriage community titty. I do love that strippers have some of the best and worst tattoos. I always tipped strippers on these factors.

1) Scabs, Stab wounds, Bullet Holes, and Scars
2) Tattoos
3) Tits
4) How slutty her outfit was, sluttier the better, cause I wanted to try it on myself.
5) Pole Perfomance. Cause the acrobatics is just a plus...

So I salute you woman of the pole. One of my favorite books is Carnival Strippers By Susan Meiselas, Capturing the hard and the human of the days of the Girlie Shows of the early 70's. BUt these girls worked more like prostitutes serving up "Lunch Boxes" at just a dollar a lick and baby wipe and on to the next dude.. Still this is a brutal and loving portrayal of woman whom found them selves cast with a scarlet letter.

Work it out .. Go baby go!

But I say this.. Watch the girl,, Tip her Hard, Tip Her Mean, Tip Often, Just tip Her!

A Word Of Warning!

I come across stupid people every day. We all do. But somehow I was just not born with the component to deal with stupid people. Short of bludgeoning them cave man style and dumping their sorry ass's in the River Thames. I speak with them and try to have a dialoguw- That's a fancy word for trying to communicate with them in a way that makes them understand where I am coming from and vise versa. So when you have one dumb bitch in what can only be decribed as an outfilt/get-up that her blind four year old sister made, asking for a discount. Well, this would make for a comedy/tragedy scenario, with me being the comedy and the tragedy is that they walk away, well being quit tragic. I am no snob but if your going to reason, please have a valid argument and point behind it. Otherwise, Booyaw!
So homegirl scoffs at a price in her nasel twang, stating she can't believe a tattoo would cost £70 and in her Germany that is is much much muh, much much and one fucking more MUCH cheaper, and that she was entitled to a discount. I smile and simply say, "Free country, You ain't nailed to nothing and there is no gun in my hand. So ergo, you can go to "back" to Germany." She argued that I was being rude after I explained to slow bitch that the price is based on size placement, detail. and it's not we pull a price out of our asses. "You are soooo ruude!". she spat. Rude, she hadn't seen nothing yet! So, I simply explained, (and by simply I mean I didn't jump over the counter and drop kick the bitch) that I would not go into a resturaunt and scoff at a price on the menu when trying to order food. What would be inconsiderate would be doing so and asking for a discount and foisting my own personal agenda, because I am not taking to account the person's business. Still this was met with deaf ears. And she kept saying rude this rude that! So I fucking let it rip. " Look whats rude is you standing before me blinding me with those fugly ass clothes, and asking for something as if you have such a great sense of entitlement." Now if you want rude, I will give you fucking RUDE! For a fucking German, she sure acted like a Jew!
Do not ask for a discount off the bat, because it makes you sound like you can't afford it. That's the truth. Good tattooists will always be willing to work with you and meet in the middle ground. It's always the ones whom are concerend with price, yet they don't want to catch AIDS or want to see work and will fucking tire kick a design to the death. I am not saying loosen the purse strings but you get what you pay for. And If I got my butch on, stand back cause I might have to get my nelly flame on, and it ain't pretty,

There is a rule I always remembered:
Most people looking for a tattoo want $200 worth of work, when the want to pay $70, and have about $400.
Communication is easy with a tattoo artist, but if you happen to have your head up yer ass, then your going to meet a struggle.
Relax and just talk to the guy/girl and just be your self. Just do not piss me off!

Monday, 20 July 2009

A day in the Park..

Hyde Park is a Mecca for my dog to chase the ever elusive squirrel and spend some down time to blow off steam and try and run her little paws off. For me and my partner it's a quiet time that we can enjoy together conversing and sharing while we have a picnic... cause Gay, they like the picnic. Any ways, every year we look forward to the
Serpentine Gallery
Pavilion that is changed annually and designed by a renowned architect that does not have a permanent structure within the city. This year we got a double whammy. This years pavilion was designed by the SANAA team of Kazuyo Sejima and Ryue Nishizawa. Last years was Frank Gehry, that was stunning and my favourite by far.. He is also my favourite living architect. The Gallery held the first solo exhibition of Jeff Koons showing the Popeye series. It was a beautiful day to have a cold drink and let Joleene enjoy the park as we relaxed in the temporary pavilion. The first and only program of its' kind in the world. The high polished aluminium blends into the scenery of the surrounding park and reflect the light accordingly. All materials must be recyclable and free to the public.

I am a fan of Mr. Koons work and did enjoy the pavilion as you can judge for yourself. The whole propose of the pavilion is that is be a public space and cafe during the day and a place for readings, movies and concert events in the evening. This was by far the coolest in terms of keeping people cool temperature wise and the really cool use of natural light. Koons worked seemed to perplex loads of people and what really pisses me off in galleries is when people feel the need to put their fucking grubby mits on the pieces. How rude. Some one hand me a tazer. Still the work reflects the humour that Koons has and his oil paintings were fucking proper. i walked away with an influence and a great day in the park..

Leather Beauty Contest Censors Slightly Slutty Behaviour.

I have been to IML/International Mr. Leather, or as I like to call it Pretty Pretty Leather Beauty Contest aka Chicago's Next Top Leatherette, is never been a high point on my social calendar. But as I keep aware of issues and topics pressing the world. I found that IML have upt the anti, by banning all and anything remotely related to and with Barebacking. Did you clutch your pearls, count your leather jocks, or just find yourself on the floor at the foot of your computer? Barebacking seems to be a sore point with some in the gay "community" and to others simply a fetish. Well, you can imagine the tirades some posted and with equal accolades in doing this "bold move" to this years event. I thought it seemed well a tad silly, and here is why.

At present Bareback porn outsells standard straight porn three to one some say by two measures. To an outsider this seems perfectly normal as our "straight" counterparts, barebacking is not even an issue and has been pretty much the norm to place the condom on the sideline. When I worked in porn (straight and gay), the "talent" was tested monthly and had to show documentation to both the partner and the production assistant collecting the info and copying said little pass for nasty time. If a chick or guy come down with a Positive result, needless to say that the companies would stop shooting for about a six week span, to see and trace the steps of the actors involved. Piecing together this coupled with the others whom had worked with others etc., etc. it wasn't uncommon for a girl to request a condom during a scene, but that also entailed she would earn less money as opposed to the chick that would do the double anal, double vaginal, boy-girl- boy scene and a full facial.

Our straight male counterparts like and buy condom-less porn. To me I leave it to the professionals. Slutty is as slutty does. IML assumes that by banning bareback porn that it does not advocate the promotion and practice of barebacking. Fair enough and understanding to their point of view. Although I have been to IML, I myself have never been to the pageant, because it just seemed stupid, dumb and boring to listen to some queen bang on about "World Peace" in chaps and his local leather bar sash To me the whole beauty contest just seems so gay.. Gay got gayer. I mean if your going to vote for a guy I would have them wrestle each other ala Naked Kombat. Heats to get me into heat. This whole boot boy, Mr. shoe shine & what ever just seems a little out dated. So it's no surprise the events that surround the IML pageant are alot more fun than watching that shit, but this is just my opinion. But according to one blogger, he felt that banning bareback porn companies from having stalls in the market place were the wrong people to ban. "But if the powers-that-be at IML are going to start banning stuff from the Leather Market, gee, how about starting with the fucking disgusting bestiality porn that was being sold by one vender? The bestiality porn that was being played on a video monitor prominently placed near one of the exits? The bestiality porn you had to walk past to get to the food. " I was shocked... truly lost for words, and completely beside myself! They had FOOD THERE! I couldn't believe it... well perhaps if I got my fucking knees and pulled the cock out of my mouth I would have probably noticed. But still, FOOD?

I could understand this point if this actual event was say organised by say something like The Adult Industry Medical Healthcare Foundation, or even the Amfar yet from individuals whom own bars and bathouses. It's a bit dubious coming from business men whom have made a profit from the aspect of men looking for hook up/sex. Some have claimed that this is nothing more than a certain type of censoring, and a chosen few over stepping the boundaries of what two or twelve consenting adult choose to do in the privacy of where ever. Yet before people start throwing around words like "community" and "pride", I think those chosen few should toss a long hard gaze into the pool of their own reflection. With the threat of Meth and other factors blamed for this supposed surge in the interest of barebacking, some have even used the world cult. With older generations having been dealt a heavy hand with the loss of many friends and family, I can see why they view this as a threat and a loss. To younger generations they are just not as fussed and view this a nothing more than a disability. What ever the reason, it's primarily the individuals. And most individuals whom visit the IML event aren't going for the shopping on Magnificent Mile or a Chicago Cubs game. Sex is a key factor in the events.. So for them to cloak these things in "Leather Conferences", Flag Ceremonies and what not, alot of the patrons are there for the social aspect of getting off their rocks. Still of your going to get your message out.. you should try at least attempt to be taken seriously, rather than do what this dip shit did. Cause, yeah, nothing says I am a purposeful queen with a cause, but still like to have my ass ridden like a mechanical bull, when you look like this

If it were something other than a sex factor, I am sure the dress code would be not as enforced. So people can pass blame and hold a resentment to companies that may outsell there own products. Even when they themselves are willing to sell older archives of films that were made during anfd before this whole thing.. Still no matter what side you stand upon their is going to be a view point. I believe that it is up to a individual to look at all the aspects of his choice and the consequences involved once making that choice. When Treasure Island Media won best studio and head Honcho over at Titan refused his Lifetime Achievement Award due to TIm winning the head gong, caused a big stir. This is not like a mysterious question like who the fuck buys Vanessa Mae or Jack Johnson albums, cause someone is. But the fact that porn (for me and to some ) nothing more than a visual... not real life. Besides the stance although some may think commendable. There are those whom think just because you work in porn, your no different than that of some one of ill repute.

This is a big tar baby for the the gay brotherhood. No matter the ban is not going to stop guys from doing it, buying it or even thinking about it. I actually think that the gay "community? fan the flames of this proposed lifestyle that perpetuates this invincible lifestyle and non stop party. I enjoy the films of TIM and Hot Desert Knights and Slut Machine, cause there is just guys having sex. No plot. No glorious location, little dialogue, just fucking. No need to press the fucking fast forward as say the films of Titan, and Falcon that become more and more homogenised and just generic. Two arty just doesn't become believable or sexy. Still I am sure that there is just more than the posturing of this stand, on the whole that has a little more to do with two generations at logger heads and a resentment in monetary sorts.

Paul Morris is one smart son of a bitch, an elusive entity more like a Circus impresario with the creed of P.T. Barnum.. "There is a sucker born every minute", just not the type of sucker Mr. Barbum meant.

There I said it I have bad taste!

Thursday, 16 July 2009

Looking for love in all the wrong places...

We've seen them.. Dorks whom post photo's of themselves, in what I like to call "el photo grande delecto", but the one question that always leaves me begging is. Why? What The Fuck. Ok, people when your going to post a picture of yourself for sex it should be said that you should be highly creative and imaginable. Use trickery, photoshop, good lighting, professional glam squad what ever. But there are a few whom lack a certain, how can I put this. Fuck it their natural habitat looks like something from an "America's Most Wanted" set or even worse "Cops". Lurid Digs places the worst of the worst.... Let's scale the evidence and problem areas shall we?

Ok, what you doing? This shit looks like what happens to guys whom OD on Andrew Llyod Webber. Forever in Phantom In My Opera-etic ass! Not sexy, not a good look and not in a millin years.

(Hangs head in shame) I'ld rather be fucked by the lava lamp. I bet he's got a bong somewhere not far off and probably lives with his mother! The girly Barbizon Modelesque pose is just as frightening. Work it Girl!

Ok this is some "The Shining" shit for gay guys.... lures you in and all hell breaks loose from the corpse that is forever trapped in the murdered bedroom.

My eyeballs hurt with this one. With the guys power drill in grandma's kitchen that time forgot. Nothing say's "fucking drill me you neck bone chewing, Folger coffee drinking son of a bitch, like this fucking guys photo...Batteries not included.

This fucking wreaks of John Wayne Gacy and I would really check the living room for squeeky floor boards and unusual smells coming from the back yard. You might want to rethink this guy offering you a drink in his home ar any place else for that matter.

Proof positive that Catholic Priests are nothing more than power bottoms! That said I am down with OPP! Oh Please, Put It AWAY!

When good weaves happen to Slutty people!

When Harvey Nicks wants to sell something, they put it in the front window! And Homegirl has two mud flaps in full display.. Ok, I am all for the Cowgirl Westward Ho theme and yes down south they don't hog call girls fat,, just big boneded, but.. bitch pat dry the titty sweat! Not a good look. You know she has those type of chi chi's that once you lift one up you might find the face of evil or some morphed spirit screaming in pain just waiting to get out!.. So she mght want to think about packing the clitty litter in her cameltoe region.

Tuesday, 14 July 2009

The Peen Goes Green, If you know what I mean?

Turning tricks is not easy. And tricks is not for kids! You have the johns whom want the supreme platter.. Suck and fuck in four positions (AT Least). Those whom just want head and those whom want you for the whole night. The nerve. So many cocks to little time. When I worked in a brothel with these girls I remember one whom was called Chakah (her alias) saying, "When I get sore around the lips, I move to my other lips or ass!" My jaw dropped but quickly quipped, "Hips or Lips, toot toot hey, beep beep?" So turning trick sounds like an easy gig till your standing in front of a 83 year old with a walker and air tank attached. That too happened to a friend of mine when she worked in a brothel in Vegas. So god love them working girls. They earn ever penny. I was surprised to hear that a brothel in Germany is going green. Maison d'envie is offering a $7.00 discount or £4.70 discount to all patrons whom arrive by bike or public transport. Cause times is hard and hard dick has to be frugal in times of nastiness and sexual temptation. And Ho's gots to make a living and good on them for doing their part in lowering carbon emissions and green house gasses. Brings a tear to my eye. Being that driving up to a girl with your pesky gas guzzler is so last season. The new one is that they guzzle you should you approach them on a bike or valid tube pass ticket. But give me a broad standing in a large window bathed in red light any day, and I will give a a floor show to remember.

With this said and done the place looks legit and at least you can get rolled without having your wallet rolled at say £65.00 quid a pop..not counting extras for your freak-a-zoids. I'm all for legalisation of sex workers.. I mean come on.. those lips don't gloss themselves honey! Clear Lucite heels in every colour cost paper fo reals. Have you seen the price of ho make up these days...astronomical to say the least. Apparently it does cost a lot of dosh to look this cheap. So to get your Ho stroll on can definitely lower your carbon foot print, even if you can do it with a big cock shoved in your mouth. With prostitution legal in Germany, 400,000 registered sex workers peddling their "goods", I always thought that them Germans are some horny little freaks, ahh bless.

The answer my friend is blowing in the wind!

When I started this blog.. I thought ok it would be a piece of my twisted universe that I could keep as my very own. My beacon, my corner, my voice for all you to poke at with your judgemental sticks. But I am finding that as Henry Hate is more a brand and a mask, I myself am not a hateful person. Hot head, blowhard, sarcastic asshole at the drop of a hat? You bet when the time calls for it. But I care, I care about you and I care about my life, my friends, my home, my world. So it was over the weekend that I had a long hard think about certain issues that make me think about the current matters that are pressing the world. Yes, it's true in between my drunken stupor and hair-brained schemes of being the evil genius, i try and contribute to dare I say it...."The GREATER GOOD"!
I bow at the church that is Vivienne Westwood, not because I find her clothes more than just works of art. I bow because she is an incredibly talented and incredibly bright and intellectual person. she's started a sub culture that has morphed into a caricature of it's once glorious self, yet she has moved on, moved away, but still retained her ethic, more so than any of those shit heads whom believe they are ever and oh so painfully PUNK ROCK! Friday night My Lady Of Westwood went on Jonathan Ross, at her own request to talk about certain issues that concerned her and to raise awareness to those whom are inundated with media imposed propaganda. She stated that if people chose wisely in their purchases in clothes and other items and spent less on mass produced items.. people would actually have more money, and keep things longer. This I find to be true. As certain corporations tend to formulate things that have a life span that require you to replace things faster and faster for profit and dividends. The main component that gets lost is craftsmanship and the small business finds it harder to survive next to big business let alone compete.
So she raised the flag about her manifesto.. that articulates what you can do to make this world a better place. To have a better understanding about the world we live, and that once that happens, we as people would also benifit with each other. Right on sister! She asked that people sign Prince Charles Rain-forest Project, to which I have done and put my name up. But the thing that struck me is that we as people are force fed things to believe in the digital age and that corporations now act as these entities that become almost human to devour and cultivate the must have. When I was at her son's shop A Child Of The Jago Joe Corre believed that people buy shit that looks cheap and develop this mentality that we must consume because the price is to good to pass up. Here is where the old adage rings true. They don't make them like they used to! Beside with all these massed produced things every thing and everyone starts to resemble each other.

So here is what I try to do...
1.) I try and support small business's and try to encourage craftsmanship and barter-ship with fellow trades men.
2.) Never go into shops on the high street like the Gap, Starbucks, Mcdonald's, Topshop, or any other chain that has more than one store in a two square mile radius. Corporate free shopping. I familiarise myself with the neighbouring business's and support them. Except for that bitch around the corner and his sorry ass!
3.) Buy foods that are home farmed and locally produced or try to. Cause you know I love to EAT!
4.) Be an eco conscious shopper. So clothes that I wear aren't made by a six year old children whom are fired for going to the toilet or pregnant.
5.) Recycle and make my business as Green as possible. Most of the stuff in my shop is either recyclable or incinerated.
6.) VOTE, because we need to stick it to the man! Be informed...
6 1/2.) Support independent music and cinema, galleries and artist. Let's face it Tom Cruise and Will Smith movies suck bigger dick than they do.
7.) Use things that are around me and look at second hand goods...I love junk and old clothes..
they are just made better and last alot longer.
8.)Pick up after my dog. Cause life makes us feel like we're knee deep in shit already.
9.) Give small change to organisations that I think matter. Battersea Dog's home etc.
10.) Read, stimulate my brain.

Well that's just the start,but it's something. In my life i have tried to avoid turning into some soy seed eating, head band loving, Patchouli wearing hippy. But despite my efforts we share more in common than we think. Perhaps this little hot head here is growing up..Great! A bad back, a constant complaining disposition, grumpy at small children with a knack for creaming at 8:00a.m,
I hate when my mother is right!

Sunday, 12 July 2009

How I woke up feeling this morning!

When I wake up I tend to have some really wacky dreams and have a song in my head when I wake up and this one was todays! So hit dick!

Thursday, 9 July 2009

Who's on Fourth... Third base!

In Trafalgar Square the New piece went up where Antony Gormley uses actual live statues(real people) in stead of the Steel sculptures he's famed for went up a few days ago. So far 23,141 people have applied for the coveted 2400 spots on the plinth. The plinth has been empty at times due to roaming pieces that have been displayed here with no real permanent structure taking residency here. My fave was the limb-less pregnant woman statue by Marc Quinn. Because I find beauty in the grotesque. The dumbest plinth piece was the "Hotel for Birds". Because apparently not enough pidgeons are shitting on tourist out in Trafalgar Square. Upon the opening ceremony of "One and Other", some guy took it upon himself to steal the first bitches thunder, and protest his concerns about, are you ready for this-ANTI SMOKING I mean here is the opportunity for England to be British and could have just tazered his ass of the plinth For all our enjoyment, before the first official plinther took the platform. Sculptor Grayson Perry was there as his alter ego channelling Courtney Love(sans eating disorder or prescription drugs) on a good day to share in the fun and frolic.

In the past there has been some rather shit pieces there, and this kinda wreaks of a David Blaine stunt. My partner and I went to see that as well and was pretty bored. In the ideology of instant fame, myspace and reality stars, this is a platform for the individual to seize his/her 60 minutes of fame. Round the clock 24 hours a day for 100 mind numbing days. Now some tend to have certain statements and causes of concern to raise more awareness while on the platform, others are hoping to do god knows what. And here is the BUZZ KILL, you can't do anything illegal while on the platform. Some people are nothing but fun sponges, and suck the fun out of everything.

In theory this sounds like a good idea and the live feed from the plinth can be seen world wide.
The artist himself applied via the websites lottery but wasn't lucky enough to plant his ass on the plinth.

Me If I were picked.. I would go up there and paint the most pornographic pictures and just get plaster drunk, bitching about whatever crosses my mind. I dunno but it would have to be meatty. I mean drinking is a favourite British past time. Mine too. Time to make momma pretty!

Beards, Bears and Breast-Ah-sis! OH My!

About eight years ago a bright young buck was going to show his graduating collection from The London College of Fashion and send shock waves through the media and style set by going against the grain. Well the collection didn't involve your typical male models or vainly thin women parading up in down in glad rags and splendour. No, they would show.... Bears or Chubs over 35. Knowing Julian for several years this young buck was a charmer and just a kool kid all way round. The press ate it up and the great white hope of style would prevail over the great white hype of Fashion. So seeing this reminded me of Julian's bold statement and well the typical male.

So the staple beer gut and a dude parading down the aisle holding a bucket of chicken was not shown nor implied, but just the clothes displayed. Surely in the industry standard of size 0 this is blasphemy. Or just a sharp left to a new way of thinking.

As I am akin to style i truly loath fashion and those whom seek out to have the must have whatever of the moment. If you think about Fashion, especially men's wear, you have to wonder just who the fuck would wear some of the stuff some people come up with. Most male models look gayer than gay on the runways, so to compare that to everyday attire on the street, your sure to raise a few eyebrows.

One designer has taken to again raise the bar not to mention waistline on Style. Belgium designer
Walter Van Beirendonck has taken lengths to show the standard male, to him and a small group of othesr at least. And if I may say. Poppa's got a new bag! Choosing to place twenty replicants of the men he liked or was attracted to, in doing so has created quit a stir. Unveiling Wonder Bear Spring/Summer 2010 showed bright colour and pastel themes in his men's collection. Smart move considering some designers tend to design for people. When they themselves look like corpse like Spanish ladies, in what can only be described as a Undertaker's uniform. (Karl Lagerfeild and his fucking fan) .

Some of the clothes Walter does are quite cool, and serve your basic function and utility. I did dig the boiler suits. and a few t's.. But those socks and shoes... and the poncho smocks? Um, I fear I may look like a special needs student whose lost his way home or a colour blind mong!. Anyways.. although some clothes may not be for everyone. Taken in seperates they actually look pretty good. but the show stopper the fur on parade! I tell my slut gene kicked in and went into overdrive.

Wednesday, 8 July 2009

Say my name bitch!

As a kid i watched and waited. And waited and once in a fit of rage kicked our television set. Romper Room to me was a favorite television show of mine that became an instrument of torture. My favorite part was the Magic Mirror segment, where she holds the mirror up and says random names and looks directly at you. I was transfixed. I once write to the show begging for them to say my fall on deaf ears of a six year olds plea, well is just cruel. So I watched and that bitch never said my name. I am sure I was not the only one whom waited with baited breath in hope that you were lucky enough to hear your name spoken on television. Sadly, mine never was. So I swore revenge. And thus, me being forsaken by my beloved show as a kid help shape the sour puss, jaded, drunken forlorn soul standing before you. Being that I am an antique, pushing in at close to the big 41..A generation of Henry's was to say the year was 1968 and slew of Michelle's were born due to the Beatles' song that very year.

I would show her, I'd show them all! Just who did that cunt thick she was anyways! Cue music and dramatic lighting. And if that bitch ever crossed my path I would give her such a pinch! So I vowed to be special and not seek some vaidation with the normal. Fuck you Ropmer Room! I swore I would be un Romper Room and forsake the good boy rule of thumb. I be the bad kid, the naughty boy and the bad seed. I would draw up my own rules and make my own magic mirror.... So there you have it. This is a little secret about me and the event that helped shape me in my formative years.

If only she said my name I may have truned out a different guy all together? Probably not!
Who Knows?

Welcome to Glamour Shots!

Take a look at this dude... Your average joe. and your standard mug shot. I have a really unhealthy obsession with mug shuts as a kid I always wanted a photo disc of mug shots for my kiddie view finder... This story has it all. Sex, Drugs, Wigs, Porn, Criminal Charges, Drug Trafficking, and oh yeah Canine Copulation. Meet Bradley Brainard, he's a plumber from Astecadero California whom was under investigation for drug trafficking and smugling cellular phone to inmates while working for The Califormia Men's Colony. While his illicit practices landed him in hot water he was subject to a search warrent.

It's always a bitch when the Po come by uninvited and without calling. I mean at least give me time to vacume and tidy a little. Any ways upon arriving to Bradley's digs with a search warrent Police found the usual.. Guns, $4000 in cash, A few pounds of Mary Jane, some Meth and other stuff. So ok, the guy knows how to through a party. But it was a curious find, a camcorder with his eventual sealed fate. Now I am not one for interspecies erotica or what ever the hell those whack jobs call it nowadays. And can never in a million years think of getting my game stick on with my dog. But apparently when Bradley's wife decided to bail on the bitch and divorce his ass, followed by a serious bout of depression. He then came to the epiphany that dogs were so much more lovable and desirable sexual creatures than nagging broads asking to take out the trash. That's when he came upon a beastiality website on the net.

But wait there is more. Police found a whip, ladies undergarments, porn, sex toys and wigs. Like a said dude sure knows how to party. But it was when they police found footage of him and a chocolate lab filmed in in what some call in bilblical terms hoovering the dogs gonads. Suddenly Bradley was more akin to fixing the male dogs plumbling. Footage was found of the culprit forcing the poor pooch to poke him in the pooper. Seeing that this guys moral compass was completely uninstalled. They found other footage of him having sex with a real woman whom was unconscious, a teenage boy in high heels, and footage of a child's genitals while witnessing a diaper change. This slut was even two timing the poor heartboken canine with other dogs. Me and friends have seen the whole "Animal Farm" movie and laughed when the chick had to blow the ardvark, but still.. I mean come on.. drunk I fucked the resident ugly guy when desperate enough for sex. And there is a whole nation of those sons of bitches!. And desperate sex is the worst.. I mean if I was desperate for some loving I would still prefer to have the local drunk roll over me on the way to the toilet and call that loving, than blow a dog's tube of lipstick.
The dog hopefully has been rehomed and forsaken the two timing lothario. Although he claims to have shunned being boned by dogs. The 49 year old will now get the opportunity to practice sexy gay times in prison either by force or choice. Pillow biting 101..if only they taught that in college.. I would be a PHD!

In a town of Anderson up the block a mother loves knows no bounds, especially when trying to keep her beloved daughter as pure as the driven snow. How, does one keep her duaghter pure you ask? Well by offering up her own minge as the steak. Deborah Lee Towe is that kinda mother. Now I am all for embracing your slut antics every now and then, but homegirl's choices of where to act a ho really need to be rethinked. Wall Mart parking lots, and Elementray school parking lots are the stuff that get her hot, apparently. I have had sex in a parking lot, and if anything it's hard to concentrate with all those pesky roaming eyes and pressed faces looking in at you directing you to do whatever or asking to join in. So her logic was that if her daughter's male friends fuck her they wont dip their wicks in the lakes of the younger Ms. Towe. Boys of 15-16 went to the principle to rub it in his face when all hell broke loose. I am starting to see this a Jonas Bors. porno parody. With there Jew fro's and dicks half hard shiny with heat lapping up on a MILF's minge singing to sweet Jesus and the saints. They say that when a woman arrives at 30, is when the start to emter thier sexual peak. Mrs. Towe said she didn't mean to hurt the boys , and that she enjoyed the attention. Yeah being banged by a horny 15 year old boy with a permenant erection is just what her doctor ordered. To be fair she is not hurting in the looks department and she defiantely likes em young and possibly hung, but at least wait till their 18 woman. Try hitting the collage parking lot or your local Christian closet sluts chapter ever town has one... Vacation in in Tampa during spring break to get your freakon. Now she'll be the new fish being baptised by the ceremonial entery of the cell block plunger.. Man I watch to many of those Boobs Behind bar movies, I love em...

Saturday, 4 July 2009

A Life In 24 hours!

I think it's a shame that one of the black communities shining beacons, and self proclaimed "King Of Pop" died a pill popping shrivel of an old white lady. Hopped on Morphine and other class A narcotics, and the Checking and Savings Account- I mean Prince what's his face, and Paris who's it at, are left to figure out the mess for themselves. To me he was an alleged Pedeo with a musical past that was once great but has himself to blame for the mess he's created. Cue Fame whores and Gold Diggers....
Poppa Joe Jackson left ot of the will..Ouch..What A BITCH!

Ok, if your going to fucking breast feed your hideous "Chud" of a child is there anything more ghetto than plopping out your paltry tit and feeding the brat right there and then. Jesus, lady, as natural as it is I don't exactly wipe my ass on the buss, so how about a little tact.

Hair do bands... Arrive in London,, via Coconut Teaser

She works hard for the money... Always something, something money, come on me, give me lots of money!

Non stop erotic caberet!

My Ghost

Black Cabs a necessary Evil in London

West London

It pays to advertise

view from a the tube..

My machines...the ones that work and the ones I use for different stuff...

Shop Refub, Apparently it does cost a fucking dosh to look this cheap!