Wednesday, 8 July 2009

Welcome to Glamour Shots!

Take a look at this dude... Your average joe. and your standard mug shot. I have a really unhealthy obsession with mug shuts as a kid I always wanted a photo disc of mug shots for my kiddie view finder... This story has it all. Sex, Drugs, Wigs, Porn, Criminal Charges, Drug Trafficking, and oh yeah Canine Copulation. Meet Bradley Brainard, he's a plumber from Astecadero California whom was under investigation for drug trafficking and smugling cellular phone to inmates while working for The Califormia Men's Colony. While his illicit practices landed him in hot water he was subject to a search warrent.

It's always a bitch when the Po come by uninvited and without calling. I mean at least give me time to vacume and tidy a little. Any ways upon arriving to Bradley's digs with a search warrent Police found the usual.. Guns, $4000 in cash, A few pounds of Mary Jane, some Meth and other stuff. So ok, the guy knows how to through a party. But it was a curious find, a camcorder with his eventual sealed fate. Now I am not one for interspecies erotica or what ever the hell those whack jobs call it nowadays. And can never in a million years think of getting my game stick on with my dog. But apparently when Bradley's wife decided to bail on the bitch and divorce his ass, followed by a serious bout of depression. He then came to the epiphany that dogs were so much more lovable and desirable sexual creatures than nagging broads asking to take out the trash. That's when he came upon a beastiality website on the net.

But wait there is more. Police found a whip, ladies undergarments, porn, sex toys and wigs. Like a said dude sure knows how to party. But it was when they police found footage of him and a chocolate lab filmed in in what some call in bilblical terms hoovering the dogs gonads. Suddenly Bradley was more akin to fixing the male dogs plumbling. Footage was found of the culprit forcing the poor pooch to poke him in the pooper. Seeing that this guys moral compass was completely uninstalled. They found other footage of him having sex with a real woman whom was unconscious, a teenage boy in high heels, and footage of a child's genitals while witnessing a diaper change. This slut was even two timing the poor heartboken canine with other dogs. Me and friends have seen the whole "Animal Farm" movie and laughed when the chick had to blow the ardvark, but still.. I mean come on.. drunk I fucked the resident ugly guy when desperate enough for sex. And there is a whole nation of those sons of bitches!. And desperate sex is the worst.. I mean if I was desperate for some loving I would still prefer to have the local drunk roll over me on the way to the toilet and call that loving, than blow a dog's tube of lipstick.
The dog hopefully has been rehomed and forsaken the two timing lothario. Although he claims to have shunned being boned by dogs. The 49 year old will now get the opportunity to practice sexy gay times in prison either by force or choice. Pillow biting 101..if only they taught that in college.. I would be a PHD!

In a town of Anderson up the block a mother loves knows no bounds, especially when trying to keep her beloved daughter as pure as the driven snow. How, does one keep her duaghter pure you ask? Well by offering up her own minge as the steak. Deborah Lee Towe is that kinda mother. Now I am all for embracing your slut antics every now and then, but homegirl's choices of where to act a ho really need to be rethinked. Wall Mart parking lots, and Elementray school parking lots are the stuff that get her hot, apparently. I have had sex in a parking lot, and if anything it's hard to concentrate with all those pesky roaming eyes and pressed faces looking in at you directing you to do whatever or asking to join in. So her logic was that if her daughter's male friends fuck her they wont dip their wicks in the lakes of the younger Ms. Towe. Boys of 15-16 went to the principle to rub it in his face when all hell broke loose. I am starting to see this a Jonas Bors. porno parody. With there Jew fro's and dicks half hard shiny with heat lapping up on a MILF's minge singing to sweet Jesus and the saints. They say that when a woman arrives at 30, is when the start to emter thier sexual peak. Mrs. Towe said she didn't mean to hurt the boys , and that she enjoyed the attention. Yeah being banged by a horny 15 year old boy with a permenant erection is just what her doctor ordered. To be fair she is not hurting in the looks department and she defiantely likes em young and possibly hung, but at least wait till their 18 woman. Try hitting the collage parking lot or your local Christian closet sluts chapter ever town has one... Vacation in in Tampa during spring break to get your freakon. Now she'll be the new fish being baptised by the ceremonial entery of the cell block plunger.. Man I watch to many of those Boobs Behind bar movies, I love em...

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