Sunday, 31 July 2011

Does Goes Gay Music Suck?

I will admit that Elton John, Freddie Mercury and even Michael Stipe have made some shear genius tunes. Yet While I was in L.A. I came across some music that was a pain and a fucking chore to listen to. I don't get the whole dumbed down prissy Glamour of the Madame Lamberts or even the Disco Sheen of Cazwell or Colton Ford. If I were a tween tranny with a perpetual boner and a drug habit I might like it. At lest I could say the drugs make the shit sound better. Yet Even Euro pop of Azis and Kazaky are hard to swallow casue it just see,s like shiny drivel in Auto-Tune.

To Me Azis is just a chubbier version of Adam Lambert who's been at it longe and supposedly with a bigger dick. As Cazwell has been deemed by the gay press as their answer to Eminem, I was left with one question when I actually saw him live. Are you fucking kidding me with this bullshit. It sounded like a nursery rhyme for guys with hardon's and wanting to crunk. Yeah fucking right. Take away the lyrics and you have a song that would appeal to a 6 year old on morning television. So it makes me wonder about the mental state of some of it's actual listeners. I mean there is no craft of Bob Mould's magic of Husker Du. Most of the new acts seems to base their stuff on the pretention of glamourous sex, designer clothing, and high gloss. Not Very Rock and Roll. No I like my rock stars foaming at the mouth riddled with VD and drug addiction. Even The Sisscor Sisters are nothing more than Abba parading around as the Village People, only in brighter colours and silly get-ups.

I have never been a fan of pop perse as like Madonna or Kylie as I think they suck. Don't get me started on Lance Bass and Ricky Martin. It's just shit with glitter sprinkled on top and I don't buy it. But some Gay Music is just to juvenile for my tastes. I wih I could say that I like and want to but it doesn't speak to me and it doesn't move me. And like Shakespeere said, If you music be the language of love, PLAY ON! Just don't play that shit around me or it's going out the window. So does gay music suck...? I think the music that caters to the frivolious does most definately. Music that is more user friendly is just classic and you can hear the difference.

Songs that are just Brilliant
Husker Du


Queen- When I was a kid loved this song and I sang it at the top f my lungs on my bike.

The Germs

Judas Priest- I do love a good hair do band.

Block Party- Hey there Kele and Simon.. Been a while since I have seen you guys.

Saturday, 30 July 2011

To Square To Be HIP!

London has many membership bars all vying for the creme de la creme of the London Social Scene. I have been in several and my partner always thinks they are just a loads of bollocks as he says and never undersands the pretension of people paying money to be accepted. He has a point. Membership bars are not that hard to get into if you know the right people and the always seem to be the friends of friends that make the place cooler or dare i say it Hip. Bren told me i was an idiot if I paid for a membership to on of the bars which I seriously considered and had my name put forward by a friend. The places always seek the "creative types" but the seem to atract the pesky bullshit monkey suit with a bank account bigger than his dick. To me most of them are not "creatives and or artists" They're sales people who claim marketing is an art form not a pitch.

I've been to both Shoreditch House once when Amy was dj'ing had breakfast there with a client and watched a few celebrities get into drunken arguments with their dates in Soho House and Sketch. But I would never call these places cool. So It struck me funny when a suit took offence to his ass being barred by both clubs and sister watering holes for being told not to wear a suit. Ladies and gentlemen i give you ehibit A. Pudgy old fart whom conducts business at these places and took offence when he was 86'd for wearing his working clothes to the establishments. He was told he was to School for cool.

I know you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover but I am going to say this fucker looks like he wouldn't be exactly cracking don P's at P Diddy's crib chillin any time soon. One lesson in cool if you paid to belong your not cool. They bar is celebrating your money as you are as well. Cool people just don't expect to pay for frivolious things like a £600 memebrship There are bars that will just hand you one if they like you or know you. What i find even more funny is this jerk went to the press to moan about it. No sympathy here. He used his money as a battery ram and felt that validated him as belonging, HIs walking papers were the official NO. A friend of mine had a dream once where she didn't make it passed the velvet rope, and she was told in her dream she wasn't cool enough and it upset her. Ok we were 24 and she just moved to LA. There are social graces those in the know must obtain to survive in the ever changing battle ground rules of perpetual cool. To quote Groacho Marx, I would beve want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.

Sunday, 24 July 2011

For Amy.

I have a hole in my life and in my heart. Five O' clock I got the call. I didn't believe it. Not her, not what i wanted to hear on what was supposed to be a great night out. For eight years a girl I personally knew came in and out of my life with a smile and a presence that I truly enjoyed. I met Amy just after the tail end of her first album of Frank. Which I was a fan of and she walked into my studio. Ripping pages out of a book making a pile and placing them on my desk. My very first words to her were, "Bitch, I know you are not fucking up my book have you lost your mind?" She had the exact same book I owned and she wanted a tattoo right then and there and I was closing in 20 minutes. I said yes cause I loved the first album and was a fan, I then made a friend.

I didn't know a volitle woman or a messy drunk, or even a tabloid celebrity. I got to know a very shy girl whom would come into my shop randomly just tp say hi, or ask to use the phone when she had no credit on her phone. She once asked to take my dog Joleene out for a walk the secong time she visited my shop. I let a total stranger walk my dog, famous or not and oddly Joleene went with her. That was a testiment of a good person, cause Joleene doesn't like to go for walks with just ANYONE and she casueally allowed Amy in. She once brought in a toy form Joleene and played with her for a half hour. Over the years i got to know her well enough and she would call me, and I never pried into her life but I watched it change upon the success of Back To Black. I had tattooed her boyfriend Alex a chef, whom I thought was dead sexy and she was still the same sensitive chain smoking girl whom was funny and polite and often asked about my partner Bren. When I told her we were getting married she offered to sing at my ceremony. That who she was. Extremely kind and i had not a bad thing to say about Amy.

She let me hear a rough mix when I did her Hello Sailor tattoo for Back to Black. She was the only client I ever let smoke in my shop cause I loved her. To me Amy was great and smart and very fucking sharp. I told her that she was very liked in the gay scene, and she replied, "probably cause I'm such a bitch". She wasn't though not to me anyways. she often reffered me to art jobs for her lable and projects. She didn't have to but she did and I was always greatful. When she come into the shop she stayed for more than she needed to and someimes just sit and talk and visit. She would leave things in the studio and pick them up later. She was talented and has it in spades. We talked on subjects ranging from Love to low we dealt with addiction. And I still say she was a clever girl. It got hard to watch the hangers on spend her money without her consent or watch people circle her as she became AMY WINEHOUSE. To that point I waited for her to come in when she was ready. Calls would come in and voice messages on my phone and her voice would ring with a slu "Hello Dahling or Hey Big Sexy!" I made a remark about a certain individual that I thought was her friend swingng by me shop looking for her, and she said flatly and frankly that they were in no way friends.

I got the honor to have her sing in my shop to me privately as she sang a improvised melody to Biggie Smalls "Big Poppa" and i was floored. It was a provate moment and for free. She was just a lovely girl who wanted love and extremely sensetive, She joked she wanted to movie to Miami and have big boobs and fuck a mob gangster, and I said me too, she laughed. She was engaging with fellow customers and often gave autographs and posed for pictures with customers in the shop. She was not the train wreck people pegged her to be. To me she was just Amy from Edmonton north London. When the press did a hatchet job on me on the back of her, she called me the day it happened from Saint Lucia o give support again she didn't need to or have to but she was that type of girl. Yes she was an addict and we talked about my and her troubles and the pressures she was under and how it all changed and that the simple things like riding the tube were no longer an option for her. Things she loved doing were taken from her because of the monster that was success and the scrutiny she was put under made it that more difficult The press relished a mess it sold papers and ,ade fucking pathetic chavs with bullshit, boring, hum drum lives to feel better about themselves. Seeling a clip a story or even a photo.. She didn't know whom to trust and I never tried to cash in on her or sell a story about her. What she told me was in the strictest of confidence and I am honoured to have those moments and memories of her.

I never knew an unflatering person but a genuine artcle and old soul with a heart of gold. amy was fucking cool. And I am touched that this young jewish girl liked me as I was and i loved her as she was. Amy wasn't perfect but she was bang on. I am going to truly miss her and I don't care what they say about Amy Winehouse the celebrity. Amy Winehouse the person was just an amazing girl who gave when she didn't need to and she was a friend to me. I find myself crying cause the last time I spoke to her she was in good spirits and on the mend. So it's hard to process her absence and her undoing. I'll miss her gentle hugs and when she would call me Big Sexy. I always loved coming home from work and tell Bren, "Amy came into the shop today and guess what happened?" That will not happen anymore. The stories, the visits, her smile and face. I once watched in awe as she gave a girl in the shop a makeover and the girl idley let her. Amy I know your pain is now gone and the suffering is over and I am sorry for the void you created for your friends and family we were loved by many that were close and by millions far and wide. You were loved loved by me. I want to thank you for the time you gave me and the memories we shared. I will never find another person like you and you will be missed. So I keep you in my good books as you have shown me nothing but kindness and love and most of all your warmth. Thank you so much.

I Love you always You are still a star!


Saturday, 9 July 2011

Bee In My Bonnet

Seeing that I just returned from my trip from LA and I got sun burned I am now officially a Londoner as my Mexican ass can no longer take the sun. The bean is burnt. Warpaint's Bee's has been a summary of my time in Los Angeles.
At the moment this song has been on my ipod on heavy rotation for some reason and I really love this song. I was thankful I got to see the band when they were on tour here in February. But I thought this song is appropriate for certain reasons in relation to my journey home. The words were quite fitting too. Not to mention that I do love playing with bees. Triple letter score, Sweet!

Your full moon taunts me

You put me, you put me on yourself
You've been at yourself
You woke me up last night
and my eyes lit up like lights
like a string of pearls
but you still did what you wanted

and all the time it took you to get your self straight
all that time it took you to get your self straight
all that time it took you to get yourself straight
was too late
so work harder for the things you made in me

And your full moon taunts me
And your thoughts they got me
(got me in
got me in)

and all the time it took you to get your self straight
all that time it took you to get your self straight
all that time it took you to get yourself straight
was too late
so work harder for the things you made in me

Did i reset what I started?
Did I resist what I wanted?
Do I think you've got my number?
I'm not the one to continue on.

all that time it took you to get yourself straight
was too late
so work harder for the things you made in me

The Real Reason Olive Oil Was Made For.

I am a huge fab of wrrestling, ever since I was a wee knibble piquito nino i loved wrestling. Yes, I am highly competitive and love a good ruck and did ok in learning grappling in the Army. Yet the art of turkisk oil wrestling is something to a whole new level that makes me more than stand up and pay attention. There's the guys, the oil, the nuclear wedgie in leather pants, and then there are the pants. Man, I got to get me a pair of those. I first came into contact with this sport when I was 17 from a photo essay and was taken by the men and the ritual that these communities take part it. Needless to say that I was hooked and loved it ever since.

There is something to be said about contact sports and the affiliation, more than just the display of hot, oiled, beefy Turkish men. When watching the matches it does apear to be a game of wit rather than of brawn to find the weakest points for a take down. Poppa;s got a brand new bag. Enjoy the show.

bustour#4 - gladyatörs from markus dassel on Vimeo.