Friday, 22 May 2009
Does The World Love a Screaming Queen?
Me and my friend Jane Gazzo were addicted the first time we saw it. I have said scrutiny is always fun when you see someone making an ass out of themselves, without any measured sense of self respect. Let me say, I can say this because I am damaged goods, and yes, evil does sit snugly somewhere in my heart. Oh yeah, they cry kick and scream, some even throw water. This brings us to the gay gasp heard round the world is alleging that American Idol has been suspect to blatant homophobia and conspiracy theories. Why cause the supposed favorite lauded by the panel of judges did not win. Now watching this I thought to meself, Self I know you seen this shit before. And it dawned on me. SAM HARRIS! Who you ask..
Pre Idol was another screaming queen back in the day with a little ol show called Star Search. Well Anything but. It was a launch pad for Rosie O'Donnel. Any way back to my drink and you.
You have Adam Lambert a 26 year old supposed "Rocker", whom actually looks like Zac Effron after a face lift in about 24 years time. Bad skin, awful emo hair with subtle hints of blue, and his piece d resistance guy eyeliner. And the ever present Beauty Queen Smile and air of grace that they only teach beauty queens and queens in music school theater troupes. Bitch, please! Lambert is a self molded love child and result of one to many bad dinner theaters and Liza Minelli records. While addressing this guy I feel as if I need to make with the showgirl or jazz hands, to get my point truly across. If I may so blunt starting your recording career at 26 by industry standards is a little old. Hell I remember looking at adds myself for bands, and the cut off was 23 in most descriptions. I am not saying that Gal-herace is devoid of any talent. Yeah he can sing, and would make a great entertainer in some airport lounge or The Wankan Camo Dinner Theater and Cabaret Troupe Players, whatever. Still hand over heart, I don't think it was the good Ol' boy red states and their latent misguided and internal homophobia that lost Lambert his tiara and sash. For disgruntled people to accuse AT&T of fraud and supposed power texts... well face it, deal with it. The Bitch lost because his posing, preening and alleged rock and roll swagger sucked more dick than he does physically.
Here is why.
1.) When you saw Kris Allen sure the guys sounds like he should sing in a bar, like other dimwits and shit acts like Jack
Johnson, Jason Mraz, John Mayer and all those supposed white boy soul fucks that sing about picking cotton in fields
and personal struggle. Most of them look like the only struggle they have ever contemplated was to which side of their ass to wipe first. Allen and his come fuck my puppy dog dick eyes had girls and twinkie gays a flutter. To which they would have to shove an
EPT (early Pregnancy Test) up their asses to see if they were pregnant after his dog and pony signing. Lambert like I said
looks this the wrong side of 26, and paunchy cheeks, bad trendy hair and flavour of the month Flares. If you had to choose which
to sleep with.. Kris would win. I say this because he's got that church background and every guy I have been to bed with
a solidified church going up bringing, always tend to be some of the nastiest fucks on the planet. All that pent up sin.
Look at those mongs the Jonas... And if I am honest those dudes look like the are parented by both brother and sister,
with a pinch of Down Syndrome to give them those wonk eyes.
2.) For all of Lambert's theatrics and numerous showgirl outfits he just sang and posed. Badly, even his snarl was painful to watch. Screaming his little gay heart out.
Some of his posturing seemed a little forced and self indulgent. But what star isn't? Regrettably, Adam comes short.
Don't know about you but rock stars are supposed to be bad and dangerous. A great Rock Star should be foaming at the
mouth, riddled with VD, a bad attitude and a fuck you stance, that makes your mother both cringe and cream her pants, a bad
attitude and a killer snarl. With a starting point of American Idol to woo rock's most hardened snobs and fans, it would
not pass the gate. Allen's appeal is more mall rat, as is Lambert compared to a tried and true rock and roll gutter rat. Back in the day
there was a word for this... hmm, let's see. What was it? Oh yeah, POSUER! At 26 and soon to be 27 you can't expect little
girls and tweens to follow this guy. If anything he probably made some kids aware in suburban living rooms everywhere,
that he was the most glamourous make signer at present. This guy was verging on the male Peacock. If he really had balls he could have one if he stuck that butt plug in his ass and made like Bette Midler after hitting the crack pipe in his glad rags and splendor. But he chose not to and played it safe... Whatever.
3.) Technically Allen is equipped to play guitar and piano. Lambert gives you what is called in theater, "Capturing A Moment",
and according to America's Next Top Model.. Smiling With Your Eyes. Lambert deviated from some of his songs
arrangements some how transforming some of these pop ditties into show tunes or verbal wet farts. He killed Ring Of Fire
and Born To Be Wild. To Allen stripping songs bare and sticking to the tempo's and simply playing what was in front of him
without taking the listener to astray from a song they were familiar with. Lambert tried to claim songs as his own, which is
at best a noble attempt but also a little pompous. This was where I started to see that the emperor had holes in
his underwear. Allen's "Awe Shucks, Me" vibe was far more endearing and humble to the gloating of Lambert's critiques while he stood their cooing about his misinformed judgements.
4.) To say that homophobia is the just cause as to every little glitch that goes wrong with the gay community in America is so fucking
stupid. As The Advocate places Gays as the NEW BLACKS, I don't agree.. And American Gays..have hit a new level of arrogance at least the ones over at the Advocate offices do. If you act like a fucking cripple and demand to be
treated with the same preferential treatment that all people with special needs get than I will fucking treat like one. A
socially retarded baby who cops out and claims fowl when "they" feel unjustified or mistreated. Yet they can adopt gaybies and kiss on television and all sorts of other stuff. Allowed to celebrate Gay pride and really what someone does in the privacy between to two butt bandits is outdated and just silly. I am legally my partners partner and the law here says so. Straight people can have the word marriage. Marriage doesn't mean shit. If it's really a holy sanction then it they should make divorce illegal. But I know this, the fucking murder rate would go up BIG TIME. But because some postuering queen who over sang, over dressed and over did it, lost.. Alert the church elders we have a huge crisis on our gay hands. Now I am not black, but living in the south
for a short spell I have come across both racist and sexist people. Now I now it's not polite to call people retards, in lieu of people with mental or learning difficulties. Still that is what you call really fucking stupid people whom are not stupid, when they fucking act retarded. And the history and suffering of blacks out weighs that
of gays. I am no theologian. I think rather than march in little protests. Gays should pot pay taxes.. Find a way to really dent the structure. Me I took matters into my own hands and quit that bitch (America) 11 years ago. I am happy. And if the courts threaten them with jail.. They will go to gay jail. Not so bad with all that clit and cock and most gays fantasize about getting plugged in the ass in prison while showering. The two minorities whom have had it hard are the blacks and the jews. So now gay people are claiming fowl, get the fuck over it. He sucked.
. Fuck Miss USA, Fuck The Advocate and perhaps FUCK
You! We live in a world were everything has to be so fucking politically correct that most peoples actions are on the brink
of social collapse. And genuine honest sincerity or thruthfulness for perhaps the fear of hurting someone's feelings. I say this because, with the supposed changes, everyone is claiming that they are being mistreated,
misrepresented, and denied equality based on religious, sexual, political beliefs and feel damage is done. I told a guy
earlier, you can not use the saying, "because I am Black!'. One it's a cop out and makes you look like a fucking moron
whom can't use logic or understanding as your weapon of choice. Besides the most powerful man in the world is black, and what do
you have to say about that. Some don't know what to say. Adam Lambert lost because he lost to someone whom was a
little more commercially viable and technically more suitable for a record contract. So complain all you want. Lambert and his supposed fall from grace and stories of singing for Queen are all bullshit. We can all wait a few years from now when his bio comes out of how he was forced to suck dick in tranny porn because his confidence was shattered and the plum roles in dinner theater dried up, make a hell of a movie of the week.