Wednesday, 6 May 2009

Grooming Men

I am not a fan of men past 25 wearing Mohican Do's.. Because I respond to things visually I tend to look at things as inanimate objects. Like Black woman look like airplanes and Oriental woman look like China or fine porcelain. But guys in hawks past the age of 27 look like circus pinheads, well to me anyways. I mean there has to be other ways to claim and stake your individuality other than wearing a lame hair cut. Me I suffer from the gay male cancer known as male pattern baldness and been shaving by guff since 22. Quick, easy and clean. Except on a lazy week I tend to look like a Gin Hag from way back, on it''s last legs after a four day drinking binge. So to say there is a alternative to the alternative is true. Wearing a Mohawk is as punk rock as an episode of Blossom or The Oprah Winfrey show. Dated and shelved. The other night my and my partner Bren were watching Quadrophenia. When I was reminded of a guy whom grew the most coveted set of Mutton Chops I have ever seen. My friend Arron grew some southern trucker ones, and envied his as well. When I was in the army I could never grow a full goatee, it always eluded me and my testosterone was a bit of a late comer. Now I can grow the shit from my ears and nose to carpet England, but somehow just cant grow the chops I really really want.

As I get older I always think that guys look better with some sort of facial hair. a few months back I and a friend were having a pint when a skin head looking for a bear bar told us to shave our faces. I was quick to tell him to take off his hysterectomy pants. The options are endless and always alter a persons appearance and can define or change a face shape drastically when grooming facial hair. Me I always feel like the Cowardly Lion in the Wizard of Oz when he's groomed and Bren shaves me. I grin from ear to ear. The term sideburns stem from the American Civil War general Ambrose Burnside know for some serious facial haor and tache. I prefer the mustache, sideburns and chops to the mo and faux. Still you gotta admit that some men who wear these styles look like they can take care of themselves in one way or another. Still dudes like The Scroobious Pip get it right by rocking the whole beard thing without looking like an extra from a ZZ TOP video. Not that I have anything against the Top as they're pretty cool, but Pips pretty cool himself.

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