Now I know what your thinking.. Here he goes on one of his tirades and yammering on about nonsensical stuff. But for reals this is something that I just had to make a post on. Now when I was a plucky snotty punk I was ambitious and had dreams to do something with my work. Being that I didn't know how or why but I just had to use my inner voice and spread my visceral VD to the masses. But I had youth and energy at my side, not to mention a huge dollop of trollop and a smidgen on downtown slut to fuse my street smarts. I came and worked for Tom Of Finland and as I a kid I was entranced by the sexuality and the well yes big dicks, but there was more. I saw something that was a personification of masculine and primal forces, yet like most I was an obnoxious brat whom suffered from low self esteem and delusions of grandeur. Besides my Ritalin, I had hope on my side. I came across some gay artists paintings and thought, although nice I wouldn't want that hanging in my living room next to my Jamie Reid or my Banksy(Snap!). But whom would?
I have come to a conclusion as such. There are gay artists and there is gay art. But gay art doesn't necessarily have to be done by a gay artist. And by gay I mean gay as a fucking christmas tree at Libarace's house, and not gay as in hosed down and tea bagged by twelve rugby players after a match in the locker room. Nice!
I am all for gay comics and gay artists whom draw the male form... yet when I look at some gay artists work I can't help but picture the type of guy whom buys that stuff. Like Franklin Mint and twice the price it attracts a certain....um crowd. When I was with TOF there was the leather crowd and they liked working at dirty pictures which is cool. But even them guys knew when to get down to brass tacks and make that shit real. But I myself like more kitsch or more modern works then that Grandpa's oil or water colour works. I can't help but think some guys buy gay art live with more than two cats and a array of china and porcelain knick knacks, with large colour bolts of ball sacks and hairy asses bathed in luminance and sunlight strewn every where. NOT sexy, but to me gay had gotten a hell of a lot gayer. The type of guy whom buys this stuff probably seen Barbara Striesand and owns a Afgahn blankets and doilies. Make with the deep heat and Peperation H, it's a golden guys wet dream. And by Golden I don't mean showers. I once went home with a guy whom had a Satanic Alter in his hall none the less it was an impressive arrangement and should be sitting in the Whitney Museum. But It made me think this guys interesting, ok so he worships Satan, but he had a big cock!
Now when going over to someone's pad and checking their diggs you will always notice and judge by what someone has on their walls. But I came across a site that I thought was a bit much and only further made me think that I was closer to the mark in my assumption of the type of man whom buys this stuff. I know all would like to acquire a certain level of say class and style. Yet somehow when I look at some of this stuff I can't help t think what the reality really looks like and the interior. This isn't rolling baller status over at Yoko Ono's house for drinks and canapé's. I had a rule, If I didn't like the shoe, I wouldn't sleep with you. Now you can imagine how I felt about the art on the fucking walls. Sure everyones a critic but to me this is some of the most unsexiest stuff i have seen. No Joel Peter Witkin, Or say Mary Ellen Mark, or even Terry Richardson. This stuff says I am not going to walk out of this house with a sprained ass. More like I am going to get the most pedestrian pounding at about 3 miles an hour. No Robert Crumb here or Even Tom himself nor Balasco, Even Maplethorpe so how should a house look when hanging erotic art? I dunno but what ever it is it isn't this. Also a the pic of a art opening begs to differ from some of the shows Tom Of Finland had. If I am not careful I may find myself with a house full of cats eating TV dinners and having to wash under my bolognie tits wearing a sweater draped over my shoulders tied at my chest. Perhaps I should have a hard drink and medicate myself in some healthy way to keep my vitality.
But the Joke is that if you hang this stuff up you are to have a chic abode but looking at this crowd I hate to judge, but I am gonna. I imagine this is what Fist would look like if it had a daddy day care for hotgramps.com.
Gay artists should say something, other than I like drawing young men in water colors and looking at asses. I like looking at men's asses, but i also like to see a chick wrap her tits around a pole and jump up and down. So as long as there is a breath in my body I swear I am going to go against the grain and i fucking swear it won't be this. Artistry can be a visual language but my voice is always changing. rather than me in my studio painting the same shit day in day out. Very few gay artists have actually inspired me, and those I keep secret. But I always thought if you were going to buy erotic arrt you gotta go full hog and be a man whore about it. Place a urinal in your bathroom, shower for eight and water proof rubber flooring through out the house. There goes that huge dollop of trollop. I am off for a hard stiff drink.
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