Swish It Up A Bit!

I went to a party over the weekend in South East London (I know, the shame), where me and a friend were discussing the hybrid of new gay. Metrosexuals and hyper masculine people whom preen an image that overtakes them like a second job. Me personally I don't get it, cause they lack an ingredient that most people find sexy, and that's humour. I have one friend whom shall be nameless that is afraid to even be seen dancing to a Donna Summer record. He became annoyed with me, when I snorted. "Bitch please, as long as your face front on your knees before a cock meat sarnie, you's a pole smoking nellie to a simple jock. This didn't sit well with him, and I reasoned that most guys comfortable in their own skin don't give a fuck. So seeing this made me laugh as I love Jane Lynch, and showing you this will kill two birds with one stone. So to those guys, kick back, ease up and have a laugh.

BALLS!

The world has lost it's damn mind, with a certain someone posting that their civil human rights are infringed upon by comparing themselves to a woman in the middle east. The woman in question whom stands to be stoned for committing adultery and hoe shit in the third degree. Bitch is going to jail cause she broke the law and believes she, like me is above the law. I know, the nerve. How rude. Yet this was kinda funny. Enjoy.

This One Goes Out To Lindsay Lohan!

Pervs!

Let Me See You See You Shake A Tail Feather.

I will admit it I hate, Yes god damn it I said "Hate" Ke¢ha. The music makes me wanna stab my fucking ears with an ice pick. I don't buy into that bullshit posing as some kool chick whom fucks you in a dank alley while waving goodbye to the parents of your latest conquest in the kitchen. Bitch needs to visit the latest Herp Clinic and get her ass and vocal cords checked, pronto. So seeing this made it slightly easier, and reminded me of the time I spent in the army. Relax, the government took back the M16, so I don't own a semi automatic anymore. I once fucked around with some of my army buddies while out on an exercise out in the middle of the National Mark Twain Forrest in Missouri. While having fun a while my first sergeant saw us clowning around and screamed we "weren't being tacticle". Ok, we were supposed to be behind enemy lines in a foreign country but we were on american soil in reality. Makes sense right?

Long story short I got into trouble and was made to do out gaurde post from Midnight to eight the next morning. This little episode led me to believe in two facts. One, there is no such thing as Military Intelligence. I say this cause I think most guys whom follow military intelligence find it difficult to think for themselves. The two words are like oil and water, they will never mix. Secondly, I will bust a move when ever the fuck I feel like it regardless in I am behind enemy lines. So to the Israeli Soldiers, shake it like the rent was due last month,

Silent Words!

Londinium!

They say that things resolve in go in 12 year cycles. Is it just me or have I been listen to Psychic Sue over at Dionne's Psychic Friends way too long? Well, tomorrow is an anniversary of sorts. You see I landed on english soil exactly 12 years ago to the date. On plucky snot nosed 29 year old stepped off a plane with exactly £1200 and not a friend or name in London to rely on to help a foreign visitor. It seems like yesterday in fact and not that long ago. I left friends in Hollywood and a relationship to seek out my path in life and stake my claim. I have always been a gambling man. So I guess you would have to blame/thank my dad for that. In twelve years I have a life partner, dog and a business and a few resident friends that would help my hide the body if shit ever went down. So that's always good to know.

Would I do this again at 41? Fucking no way! I don't have the patience and the stamina to re-root myself and life and start over from scratch. For the most part I am set in my ways and have something I truly value and wouldn't trade it in for the world. I will never forget the feeling inside the pit of my stomach trying to think where the fuck I was going to go and didn't have a clue of what to do. I mean I had an idea, but I was putting down to fate. If it happened it was going to happen, but I was in no way going to force it. So I raise my glass to my friends, and Family who've been there for me and my partner and pooch, whom understand me warts and all. I love you and England is definitely my home and glad I took the risk to set out on a course to find my corner of the world.
I'll say one thing it would make a hell of a book, and never been dull that's for sure.

Time Out Best List! Fuck Yeah!

Check Us OUT in Time Out Best Of!

The Death Of Shoreditch.

Being that I have a local business in Shoreditch's oh so hip it hurts triangle, I am one of the first and few remaining business's that started in the early boom of the burgeoning Shoreditch Bohemian Scene.
I have scene the area thrive and change at an alarming rate, and talk to the neighbouring business and exchange deets about whats going on with the area. The triangle is known for it's galleries and bars and the Boho shops that strive to be different from the cack they peddle in Camden to tourists. What I love about the area is that there is a working class feel mixed with artists and city folk, pepperd with travelers from Japan, New York and everywhere else. Do I believe Shoreditch is cool? Yeah, it's got its good points I mean this is Central London, and Shoreditch reminds me of Sliver Lake back in the early 90's when rent was cheap and the vibe was really happening.
But recently a DYI gallery space /bar has been the buzz around the closing of The Foundry at the Old Street/Great Eastern Street Junction. It has been taken over by squatters, whom believe the space should be saved. Hackney Council have allowed for the building that once was originally a bank to be demolished and pave a way for an Art O'tel. for the chain of Park Plaza Hotels. Cue Trendy decor and £500 a night rooms for a 18 story building with supposed shopping space as well. There is already production of a corporate hotel extension being built just a block form my shop and it's not an Arty farty hotel. Just an ugly ass hotel for travelling wayward bankers and their high class ho's looking for a lil something something on the side.

I have great memories of The Foundry (and it's toilets), and Bill Drummond of the KLF fame asking me to give him a piece of my work for his collection in order to show their. The space houses an early Banksy mural of a rat that will be preserved for the new hotel. To which Banksy has made his opinion of them demolishing the foundry that has been a weekend favourite for bike couriers and the Shoreditch Glitteratti at one time or another. I am always opposed to squatting but in this instance I see the point of the protest and support them in their struggle against the bailiffs and the property developers. This is just one aspect of mass consumerism cashing in on an area that has been thriving from the local people and it's inhabitants and sell it off to those he think that simply by visiting in close proximity a luxury 18 story hotel will suddenly make you cooler. No, it just means your bank account is probably bigger than your dick.

While across the street there is a public social housing estate across the street where its residents would never be able to afford a £500 a night stay in one of their rooms let alone afford to eat in their restaurant. Sure the space could bring jobs to the area, yet I feel that a development like this only starts to bleed out onto the outer regions and there by making them the outsiders. I don't think Shoreditch needs a high rise hotel as they are planning to develop three blocks south a wall of high rises, that are already green lit. If you want to help do your part by visiting here and help out.

42, Fuck I Am OLD!

I will be approaching 42 in a few days time and have been thinking about where I am on the cycle of life. I am where I think I should be, but I know I could do better. Try and be a better person although contrary to popular belief I am capable of being dare I type it "nice person". So I have made no plans to celebrate as the shop just had a birthday party and my liver is just starting to recover from that celebration. But I have pretty much everything I actually want in my life. But I thought I could do something nice for my partner on my birthday and surprise him for a change.

But my friends whom are asking themselves, what do you get the guy whom has everything. Here is a little ol list I made up. Ok I know some of these are a wish list but a guy could dream can't he.
So on July 16th I would love to get one of these!

1) 32Gb 3G iPad! Because I would use the fuck out if the Bitch!


2) Johnny CupcakesT-shirts Size Large!
You get extra points if the t-shirt includes the Redhead!

3) A White Falcon Gretsch Guitar, Ain't she pretty!

4) A Trip To Bora Bora for 6 days of just relaxing on a private beach! Just me and Bren with the ocean at our doorstep. Heaven!
5) A nice day out with me, bren and the pooch somewhere sunny and with water as Joellen likes to swing and I love taking her for a dip.
6) The freehold to my building- If fucking only!

7) A Excalibur Food Dehydrator- As I love eating raw foods and fruits.
8) a good year of business in the shop and forward motion as a team with the guys and Kat.
9) To make Bren laugh and smile everyday, but I will try in my own.
10) Good health and happiness.

Fuck The Man!

I have always had a DI ethic, even if it seemed to be just me banging on about my own fucking scene and listening to the beat of my own drum. Yet recently I found out some information that pissed me right the fuck off. I consider how I make my living on the full aspect of my work and art. My imagination is my greatest tool, yet to the status quo. That seems to be not enough. Dealing with banks is a struggle, as they make money off my business and hold my accounts and deal with all my transactions and exchanges. They make money of me annually, bill me and still the protocol that they hold I find just a tad fucking ridiculous. As I am in the process of consolidating some of my accounts and stuff I am in the process of changing business banks. Choosing to go with one particular so called "ethical bank" I met with them and all was lovely till they didn't have the fucking courtesy to actually write me and tell me I was not approved. What the fuck?

I wrote them saying I wasn't applying for a bank loan and all my business loans had been paid off years ago and at what point where they going to tell me this. The moron's reply, "Oh we're telling you know." Ok, one I made the call to find out what the status was on my transferring of my business bank funds and point of sale card account. To which I was assured was an easy process and simply switch banks. After I complied with and put into writing, given the "ethical bank" statements and proof of my identity and shown that my business was in good order and placed my approval to allow them to switch all my business holdings. Easy, right? Wrong. So not only have they not approved me yet forget to tell me that this refusal of a bank account goes onto your credit rating for 60 months. The fuck, I swear I turned into a Mexican Courtney Love foaming at the mouth.


To which the operator tells me that I should be receiving a letter exclaiming why. This letter has still not come to my home or office as of this post. So now I am even without a card machine in my business. I apply for another company to handle my card sells and that fucker says I am declined because I would be a bad representation to the bank holding my account transactions and am considered an undesirable aspect to the projected profile of their bank. Plus they take issue with my artwork and use of language on my website. But the Bank Manager tells me, it's not his choice he would allow me to do business with him if it were his bank, but the policies are in place that don't allow him to approve me and my "type of business". In essence taking my money would look bad to their fucking greedy ass shareholders god forbid they ask me to a Christmas Party and make a scene.

If I were Ann fucking Summers whom sells vibrators and motion lotion to the secretary of these types of business the volume of money that is generated is considered ok. But Henry Hate is considered a risk and a blemish to the banking business system, set up by greedy fuckers whom fucked the global economy up in the first place. So what do I say? Fuck YOU Co-operative, and Eat Me Royal Bank Of Scotland. You can eat a big bowl of herpes dick till your sorry ass is out of a fucking job and your scally ass is out on the street! I will take my business else where.