Saturday, 27 March 2010

Fat Food Nation

The other day as I was deep in my ritual of scatching my ass and picking my nose in front of my big screen HD TV, I caught Richard Linklater's Fast Food Nation on one of those damn BBC network channels. It caught me by surprise as I actually found it interesting, yet tried in earnest to avoid all scenes that involved that pastry faced troll Avril "what's her fucking face" Lavigne. Needless to say I don't actually eat at fast food places anymore nor eaten at a McDonald's in over 13 years. When they say there is something in the water, you best believe I fucking believe it. They must put something in the food to make people flip. As I have been cooking recipe's that are raw food and diabetic in culinary skill, I know my taste buds have changed. I do not miss fast food really as it was rare to see me even sit in a Burger King, as their food always made me sick.

Recently there has been a plethora of craziness served up in a super sized shit storm. People loosing their shit for a fucking staged ham-murmer sammich. Bitches flip their wigs over this and it's always the lard ass whom just looses it. I have to ask myself, where the fuck is the FDA in all of this? I mean really. Me and my friends used to avoid a place called Church's Chicken unless we were up for buying speed, crack or some chiva (smack) for you squares. I mean we had to troll through the prostitutes and pushers in the parking lot, and if we were really hungry we would rather eat at Arby's. Now that is fucking saying something. Still it seems that there is a rash of fat asses coming down with a serious case of Hangry. Hangry is Hungry served with a large as dollop of Angry.

Case one" Stereotypical male who looses his shit and his drawers. (do you mind, I am trying to keep my food down.) Let us study his gut shall we? Drunk, something says he's probably single and staying that way, and suffers from short dick disease.

Case two: Ghetto bitch who really needs to step away from the pastry cart if you know what I mean. Orders her food and then demands a refund on a meal that is 3/4 eaten, not to mention the Vanilla shake, the seven donuts and the four Egg Mcmuffins she packed into her guff.

Case Three: Fight, Fight, a ______ AND _____, see what happns when you try and cut in line at a fast food joint. Bitch didn't go for the jugular she went for the sore bone, The Weave! Pull a woman's weave and that shit will only end in tears a maybe a large dry cleaning bill and of course the ever present bald spot.

I mean serious, if they really wanted to win the fucking fight all you would have to do is sit on them. Nuff said. Watching these crazy ass people really puts me off ever going into these joints. I mean at least the people of Wall Mart are so much more entertaining. I mean Wal Mart is just wall to wall style with fine respectable people at the pinnacle of grace and inner breeding. Of course as it would be, there is a fucking McDonald's there. See what I mean.

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