Saturday 4 September 2010

The Ethecial Slut, My Ass, Hoe's Knows!

Last weekend I and my partner and the lil wee nib made our way to Brighton to escape the Notting Hill Carnival. While in Brighton I noticed a number of "Women Only" Boutiques or Erotique Emporiums opening all over The Lanes and Kemp Town, and I thought to my self that these are the kind of shops that produce ethical sex toys for the hippy, henna hair wearing, hemp cloth wearing, house wife or Lezbean. (yes I meant to type it that way. Sex Toys are no longer the old fleshy latex of yester year. No, like the digitl age sex has to adapt or die. I walked into a shop that shall be namesless and when I picked up on of their phallus shaped vibrators, I noticed it had a strange texture. Yet god forbid they shape it like a make dick! I asked what it was made of, and the snort comiing from the shop assistant/owner, in a tone that would rival any overweight sarcastic, bored comic book shop employee. "it's made of recylcled timber of rubber trees" Her tone was monotone and flat and almost a forced mumble scripted on auto play. So with me smiling at this pastry faced troll, I responded in kind, "you know you can act like a dick and sell dicks, but you will never physically own one!"

Shops like Organic Pleasures offer women "alternatives" to cheaply made and mass produced sex toys. Offering thngs of wood, medical grade sillicone and, glass, they offer a eco feel to the fare of sex. Yes Lubricants are made to be environmentally certified by the Soil Association. All sounds great but call me old fashioned, But recylced tree butt plugs, eco friendly lube and glass over priced dildo's with feathered plumes sold in elegant black boxes. I won't buy into the whole erotique boutique thing cause I am not a woman in need of a mink bejewelled butt plug. I am for the way forward to eco friendly sex. Shit, throw that bitch in the dirt while our add it. The Earth Angel Company make eco sex toys that you actually crank up, now I sit up and pay attention. Crank that bitch the 12. Earth Angel Sexy toys can be powerd by your computer, and fully recyclable materials.


If you want to be eco, heres a tip do it in a fucking park, there are loads and loads of sustainable materials to get your hoe stroll on with. Be creative. Pick a dank alley and let youor imagination go wild. I have a friend whom loves to have sex in skips, I don't judge but If ever I find my self eating at his house I must remember never to try his cole slaw. Her is a review on the crank butt plug, bitch says she like a hard plastic. I bet.


But I think these chicks at the end of the trailer got it right.

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