Thursday, 11 February 2010

What Are You Wearing? I Don't Care!

God damn it I said it once and I will say it again till there is snow caps on the hill tops of hell, I hate fashion, but love love love style. As I am taking a breather from Cube duties, I am focusing on other things at the mo, to keep a level head. I came across this guys blog, and it struck me as a shrine to his closet, and fodder for me to poke fun at. I know what you're thinking, how can you be so cruel Henry and talk about somebody behind their back? Well, I was raised right it's called manners, and I can be a lot funnier, so can we move it along. Chop chop. As I get older I try and dress age appropriate, but I wont wear crap from say Hot Topic or Camden tween shops. I like what I like and that's it. I scope vintage clothing stores like a diamond mine jeweller. I take me time.

This blog comes across as a series of pictures where he shows us his outfits, colour co-ordinated with a back drops in various designer shops and interior design studios and galleries. Sometimes the stuff is worn again and interchanged. The fun part is his nasal T stance posing, 2nd rate lack luster model gaze, complete with a man bag, ok purse or shades. Bitch Please! Yes you too can look like this fashion fool with a lesson from The Barbizon School Of Modelling. My mind starts swirling with all kids of soundbites that I virtually am biting my tongue like a bad little boy possessed with Tourettes Syndrome. Evil I know. Don't have anything nice to say, well come sit next to me. What's missing here is the humour and the fun of style. Not sexy.
This guys probably creams his manties at the sight os silk damask wall features and won't let you get a cum stains on his 1400 count Egyptian cotton count sheets. The dude has Od'd on GQ and Conde Naste, I mean Jesus, its overkill, over done and just OVAH! You know those guys whom think they're the male versions of peacocks and walk like they have a stick in their ass. You throw a friend a parting side glance with an inside joke. This is that guy. No smile, and probably spent more than he should on what he's wearing at the advice of some flouncing queen who buys into the fantasy. When in fact most of these get ups look like uniforms. The turtle neck, the blazer, the scarf and those hideous over priced trainers paired to the backdrop. Yikes, looking at this guy fives me fashion cramps. The equivalent to fashion gas. You know when you walk into a fart, you're not going to really like the smell. What this guy looks like, is in a serious need of some heavy cock action to lighten his mood.

One James Andrews Blog is the fashion equal to Lurid Digs, sorry but that's my opinion and it stays. Funny the intent is there sure enough, but style gets lost in the execution and comes across as vain, pompous and pure egotism. Mr. Andrews, Tom Ford called, he forbids you from wearing any more of his collection. I mean come on, can your try any harder? Probably. Yes, you have some lovely clothes that would look better on someone else much younger without looking like they made an effort. There in lies the problem, he looks like he made to much effort and it just doesn't float. My fashion tip cut your hair shorter Senor Tight Ass and have some fucking fun. Visit a dark room, anything, other than striking us with that silly cookie cutter pose. Camp it up maybe, but then I think he's camp enough.

Runway looks never look the same on regular people, when they copy it to the letter it looks strange without all the sheen that went into prepping it as it passes us by on the sidewalk. Sidewalk does not equate Catwalk. When looking at style Cholos, Mods, Male Hustlers, and Gangsters got it right and it never goes out of style. Truly classic, and I will never buy into Tom Fords world ever, to sterile. You can never go wrong with a classic look and the stuff is always made better, to last a long time. It'll cost more sure but so worth it. Style is something money can never buy. There is a shop around the corner from my shop that some of the guys look like dudes whom dress as grown ups with special needs, definitely a look that's just an over priced one. I mean who wants to look like a nerd with learning difficulties at the cost of £1200 quid? Certainly not I, this is where fashion guru extraordinaire Dolly Parton proclaimed, it costs alot to look this cheap. Humour is always a good thing in style cause you can never take yourself seriously.

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