The other day i was really at a lull and I smashed a phone in a fit of rage. Yes, it felt great to break something and vent my anger, but i was saddened by the fact that my therapist and I had a discussion where we were on the topic of intamcy. Apparently what i define as intamacy is differen than what some people would define it as. I actually fet dumb, but then I thought I have had intimate moments but I would not define that as true intimacy. To me people misconstrued intimacy and empathy as the same. like truth and honesty, all though similar they are very different. Parallel but with the capacity to cross over into each other from time to time, but I would not say that they are the same. I have had empathy and i have been intimate, but i have has sex with no strings and no attachment. I have loved someone without being in love with them and vise versa, yet I was so fucking riddled with guilt that I felt worthless and defective.
Down in a hole and I got drunk and had a time out. I had my ipod on and when I was thinking and clearing out my head I normally look out a black cab and stare out and watch the traffic go. Wednesday was that day. I broke down infront of Bren and confessed that I don't give myself enough credit when it comes to us. I am my own worst enemy. The funk is starting to lift and I have to have a word with that fucking therapist and set the bitch straight. Stay tuned!
So I decided to play these two songs in leiu of my wednesday, as they were relevent on the day and where my mind was. Enjoy